#i had to do something other than watching the news

[astonmartinii]

other side of the moon - chapter five | formula one imagine

pairing: fem retired formula one driver reader x ??? fem retired formula one driver reader x platonic!kimi antonelli

one big car launch with every driver in attendance - what can go wrong?

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | SERIES MASTERLIST

whatever bright spark decided that formula one needed one big, fancy car launch must want y/n dead. here she stood in one of the many green rooms in a black dress that’s a little too tight and an absolute pain to sit down in.

on one side of the room george sits in his dressing gown being doted on five different people while he talks down the phone in a tone too loud for the crowded room. kimi, on the other hand, sits on the couch on the other side, having waved off all of the people trying to smear yet another cream on his face.

“are you just going to be haunting me all season?” george said as he hung up the phone. glaring at y/n through the mirror.

“if i’m haunting you, does that mean you did something wrong?” y/n gasps, “am i the skeleton in your closet, georgie?”

the mercedes personnel in the green room were still, almost waiting for it to hit boiling point and all spill over. george and y/n stared each other down, waiting for someone to make the next move. george steadily looked y/n up and down, not being subtle at all. y/n raised her eyebrow at the brit.

“i could get used to you in my colours,” george said with a smirk.

“bore off russell, i don’t wear anything for you. these will be seen as kimi’s colours before you know it.”

a knock on the door signalled the start of the show. george stood up and took off his robe, revealing the new mercedes racesuit for the season. the brit made his way to the door but before he left, he turned to y/n and said, “don’t get too comfortable, i have my eye on you”

“oh georgie, you always have,” y/n flirted before schooling her face, “and how has that worked out for you?”

the brit pointed to his racesuit, “better than it has for you.”

that was a low blow, but y/n was prepared to play it that way if that was the game for the season. george looked at her again, as if to challenge her, but y/n stayed silent though her stare was unwavering. she had said a lot worse about herself to herself after the crash.

with that george turned and left, calling out to alex down the corridor.

“i really don’t understand him,” kimi said, “it was only like a week or two ago he was cussing you out in monaco, then today he checks you out but then threatens you like two seconds later?”

“first lesson of the year, kimi. do not trust a word that man says to you.”

the pair linked arms and made their way out of the green room. there was a gaggle of drivers at the end of the corridor, all decked out in their racesuits except the ferrari boys who were in normal suits. the group fell silent as they all turned to see the new arrivals.

“i didn’t know it was bring your mum to work day?” alex called out as they neared the group, smiling as he came to hug her.

a french-accented voice hollered a ‘milf’ from the back of the group, y/n suspected it was pierre, but paid no mind. an offended squeak followed as y/n looked up to see max delivering a slap to the back of his head.

“i’m just dropping him off, i gotta get to my seat before i’m roped into an interview. i had to sneak in this afternoon, i swear sky sports are like stalking me!”

the group watched along as y/n leaned in to whisper into kimi’s ear, “remember what i told you. smile, be likeable and tell jokes. these people are underestimating you, let them. we’ll do our real talking in the car. good luck and try and have some fun.”

the pair did their ‘handshake’, which really was just a pinky promise, and broke apart. y/n looks back at the group one more time, smiles at max and takes her leave. just a couple paces down the corridor, a voice called out her name.

“y/n, hey!” lewis called, catching up to her quickly, “i didn’t think i’d see you back here tonight.”

“i wasn’t planning on it, to be fair. kimi is technically an adult now, but i still didn’t want to leave him on his own here of all places.”

lewis laughed as the pair looked back at the group. kimi had nestled himself next to ollie, quietly talking to each other with esteban looking over both of them. y/n caught the gaze of esteban and the frenchman gave her a quick nod before inserting himself into the conversation. the height difference between kimi and esteban was comical, but y/n was happy knowing esteban would look out for him in places she couldn’t be.

“i didn’t think you would like the whole mentor role, being so young and everything, but you seem to be doing a good job.”

“thank you lewis, but honestly he makes it very easy,” y/n looked at the group again with a fond look on her face.

lewis brought his hand to her face and made her look at him, “i thought i’d never see that look on your face again.”

y/n looked down and blushed, shaking lewis’ hand off. “i am happy. a lot happier than i expected to be, anyway.”

“i’m happy that you’re happy. i’m happy you’re back, i won’t keep my distance this time, even if you’re in the home of the enemy now.”

y/n laughed, “well i thought it was bad going back to your ex, and look at me now. so maybe they’re not as much as an enemy as you think.”

an announcement from further down the corridor cute the conversation there, lewis tries not to look bothered, but y/n can still tell.

“looks like you’re needed elsewhere, superstar,” y/n said with a wink, “try not to let charles outshine you too much.”

“he wishes.”

y/n watched him walk away and was confused. lewis had never expressed interest in her before, platonic or romantic. even when she was a young rookie with stars in her eyes, she was never on his radar. was she now? the visit in london had been weird and the way his eyes had been fixed on her since she arrived today was even weirder.

y/n didn’t really have the time to be grappling with that struggle today, not with everything else going on. the audience seemed like enough distance between her and lando, but after monaco, there was no real knowing what could happen. george was just as confusing as his compatriot, with harsh words but also a glimmer of something else too.

she needed a glass of champagne pronto.

max watched the interaction between y/n and lewis like a hawk, so focused that he didn’t realise that he had formed quite an audience. nico hulkenberg, kimi, ollie and esteban watched him try and conceal his feelings, but his face showed every thought.

“you want to make it any more obvious that you’re jealous?” nico said, nudging max to break him out of his daze.

“i’m not jealous, i just wonder what they actually have to talk about…”

“you’re not jealous you say? you didn’t even glare at him this much during 2021.” esteban chimed in.

max furrowed his brows and forced himself to look away. he already felt guilty for harbouring these feelings for y/n and now he’s faced with a curious look from kimi, making him feel even worse. he did not want to make the same mistake as lando and george had in the past. he meant it when he said he just wanted to exist with her.

“kimi, how would you feel about having max as your dad?” ollie said, hiding slightly behind esteban.

“he’s very good with the cats?”

“thanks, that’s such a glowing recommendation, kimi, thanks!”

kimi held up his hands in surrender but max couldn’t be angry at the italian - plus he did take very good care of his cats and brando. in fact, he had nearly thrown his back out, much to red bull’s chagrin, building a new cat tower so brando could watch the birds from his preferred spot. the cat had settled in well in his place in monaco while y/n had been staying, the dutchman didn’t want to think too much about what it could mean, but it was on his mind.

“i just mean i caught you googling how to make sure your cat is getting enough vitamin d because you were worried about how cloudy it’s been in monaco?”

kimi tried to backpedal, but his anecdote was overheard by more drivers, bringing them into the conversation.

“are you being for real? vitamins are just pseudoscience dude,” pierre said but isack popped his head into the circle to say, “vitamins are real? and vitamin d deficiency is actually a really huge problem.”

“thank you isack!”

“as if i’m taking health advice from a rookie,” pierre laughed. yuki took his turn to pipe up next, “i saw you eat a whole jar of peanut butter in one sitting last winter break? what do you know about health?”

“why is it gang up on pierre hour? why aren’t we focusing on the real issue here? like how pathetic max is about y/n?”

max sputtered as even more drivers joined the conversation.

“i am not pathetic. brando is practically my son. kimi back me up, doesn’t he love me?”

“he does -” kimi started defending max before charles butted in with a: “calling for help from the other son? we see how it is verstappen.”

this was a losing battle. max just hoped it stayed this light hearted but he saw lando and george approaching the group.

“max is not my dad, but i wouldn’t mind. he drove all the way to nice to pick up my parcel because i didn’t understand monaco postal charges!”

poor kimi was trying to help, but he was just making it inadvertently worse.

“this is making your pseudoadoption last year look like child’s play, oscar,” alex said, earning him a whack from charles.

“kimi is not my son, but that doesn’t mean i won’t look out for him. this is a horrible place to come when you’re already disliked. some people, not naming names, have made it clear they have a problem with him and y/n, so it’s simply my moral duty to look out for him.”

the group quietened down, looking amongst each other.

“why am i so out of the loop, who is bullying this literal child?” nico said, pulling kimi into his chest, the italian letting out a squeak as the german petted him. “so? do tell.”

for two people who were very eager to call y/n and kimi every name under the sun just a week ago, they were very silent in that moment.

“oh! we’re talking about the lovely cocktail party i threw that was ruined by lando and george!” charles blurted out, he grabbed fernando’s hand, “it was so nice, i even brought olives, but they came in spouting all this shit about y/n and kimi and seduction and older women?”

both brits scratched the backs of their necks. the cocktail party drama was not a good move from them, especially so close to the start of the season.

“it wasn’t quite like that?” george hurried out.

“you accused y/n of trying to sleep with me?” oscar said.

“you said that i was going the max verstappen route of getting with an older ‘problematic’ woman?” kimi added from nico’s side.

“you also kinda implicated yourself in y/n’s crash?” alex heaped on for good measure.

“alex!?” george and lando shouted, “whose side are you meant to be on?”

“i’m not on a “side” because i’m not fucking five, but i will point out hypocrisy and stupidity and that’s both of you. come on, it’s 2025 and you guys are still stuck in like 2017.”

“right, i feel really stupid because what the fuck are you people talking about and why wasn’t i invited to this party?” fernando said, a confused look on his face.

“lando and george are still hung up on y/n years later even though she never actually expressed interest in them, max has the best odds on actually sealing the deal and i don’t know, kimi is getting shit because he brought her back and none of them can actually regulate their emotions!” charles said, exasperated, “keep up grandpa, you’ve been here the whole time!”

“i do not have the ‘best odds’ because y/n isn’t a horse, you don’t bet on women?” max bit back.

“actually i bet on women all the time,” yuki said but when he saw how the group were looking at him he added, “ufc, duh!”

even as they were herded towards the backstage, the group continued bickering like children.

“all i’m saying is that your crush is super obvious and you need to be careful! y/n will know and will use it against you, just look at what happened with me and george!” lando hissed at max.

the dutchman glared at the brit, this really had gone too far. “can you like actually give me an example of where she ‘led you on’ i am genuinely curious,” max snipped, “quickly.”

lando immediately looked at the floor and bit his lip. max began tapping his foot with an impatient look.

“well she would be super flirty with me in the videos the team would make us film?” lando didn’t sound convinced, and max didn’t buy a single second of it.

“if that’s what you think flirting is i feel sorry for all of your ex girlfriends, you must be a horrible boyfriend - ouch!” charles was cut off by a shove from george.

“stay out of this charles!”

“i won’t stay out of this, y/n is actually a friend of mine. yeah that’s right she doesn’t hate me because i don’t assume that any girl who is fractionally nice to me is in love with me.”

“lando you basically tortured that girl her entire formula one career, do you need to do it now as well?” max said, “i think this season will be a lot easier for you if you drop this now.”

“is that a threat?”

“it’s a promise.”

all the bickering surrounding the pair ceased, tension rising in the air. the call for the mclaren boys drew lando out of his stare down with max. the brit joined oscar at the front of the queue and painted on his PR smile.

y/n had found her way to her seat, flanked by natalie pinkham on one side and jenson button on the other. there goes her plans for a quiet evening.

“so the rumours are true,” jenson said before jumping up to give her a hug, “i’ve missed you, rocky”

y/n flushed at the nickname. since her first ever race in formula one, jenson had crowned her his ‘pocket rocket’ which had eventually been worn down to just rocky. she hadn’t heard it in so long, jenson’s appearances being relegated to messages via sara or flowers that only gave away his identity with the use of rocky.

“did sky set up this seating arrangement? are you going to ambush me for an interview?”

“i can’t believe you’d think so low of me,” jenson clutched at his imaginary pearls, “and as if you can say no to me anyway.”

the pair took their seats as the show started. natalie handed her a glass of champagne and whispered in her ear, “you might need this.” well that doesn’t bode well.

the two mclaren drivers made their way out onto stage, joined by zak and andrea. y/n leaned into jenson, “i don’t understand why he insists on being everywhere, have we not suffered enough?”

jenson tried to stifle his laugh, “are you sure you don’t want to work in commentary?”

“i think it’s best i keep my opinion on these men to myself.”

the mclaren spiel followed the closely the same scripts they used when y/n still raced for them, though a healthy dose of constructors champions boasting had been added. a second questionable decision from formula one reared it’s head when nico rosberg asked his first unscripted question:

“so boys, how do you feel about the return of former mclaren driver y/n y/ln to the paddock? excited to see her?”

y/n swore she could see lando’s eye twitch from her front row seat. there was an awkward pause and y/n could feel the rest of the audience tense. even though the general public didn’t know the ins and outs of the fall out, there was definitely rising suspicion.

nico found y/n in the audience and gave her such a shit-eating grin that she almost didn’t care about the situation he just put her in.

“we’re of course over the moon to see her back in the paddock. i know i’ve harboured a lot of guilt as to how i ended up with my seat, so i’m happy that y/n can see me in action and hopefully i can continue to make her proud!” oscar said with a genuine smile, the only convincing one from the men clad in orange.

“continue to?” nico asked, “have you had confirmation of this?”

y/n’s eyes snapped to oscar who despite receiving glares from his boss, continued on.

“we spoke at charles’ cocktail party. i’ve always been a fan of hers and it was great to finally set the record straight. she was a lot more graceful than i would’ve been in her position. to be honest i was a bit of a weepy mess, but she was very supportive. i’m only slightly jealous of kimi…”

“very nice. did you get any insight on her opinion on hungary?” nico pushed, only to be cut off by zak.

“if you so desperately want her opinion on everything, you can wait until you’re on sky’s dime. this is a car launch, no? we’re confident in our car for this season and intend on winning both championships. and do you know how we’re going to do that? with the two drivers on stage right now, not one who was a flash in the pan four years ago.”

you could hear a pin drop in the venue. even lando had a shocked look on his face as he and oscar exchanged a look.

“that’s fighting talk from the man who ended her career, but what do i know?” nico said sharply but then turned to the audience, “ladies and gentlemen, mclaren!”

there was tentative applause from crowd and when y/n and oscar made eye contact she gave him a small smile. this was only the first team…

nico looked for y/n in the front row and gave her a thumbs up to which she shook her head violently. jenson burst out laughing, “well, i don’t think we’ll be having this as the car launch format again.”

“i don’t know about you but i’m throughly entertained,” natalie said, “if nico was like that with mclaren, i can’t wait for ferrari!”

the next few teams were decidedly less dramatic. y/n could see kimi and george lining up next to come on stage and she hoped the italian remembered her advice.

george walked on stage with confident strides, followed by toto and finally kimi. the italian looked out at the audience, squinting from the harsh lights but calming his features when he saw y/n. she gave him a thumbs up and got a smile in return.

“you’re loving this mum role aren’t you?” jenson said.

“you’re making me feel old, stop. but yes i would kill myself if anything happened to him, so i guess so.”

back on stage, nico had started his interview. first toto was being grilled about the hopes for the season and how life at mercedes would be without lewis hamilton. the german was clearly trying to bait his former boss into giving him a juicy soundbite.

“kimi, let’s come to you now. you’re first season in formula one and you’ve already brought in the big guns? y/n y/ln as your mentor, that’s a big statement.”

kimi looked startled and his eyes snapped to meet y/n’s. she nodded to him, urging him to answer.

“why wouldn’t i want a legend of the sport like her as my mentor? she still knows what she’s doing, and if it ruffles some feathers in the paddock at the same time, what’s the harm?”

she was so proud of her protégé. jenson choked on his champagne at kimi’s answer, “kids got balls.”

“well, well, well. you’re not beating around the bush are you? but do tell me, kimi, what’s so special about you that y/n would come out of retirement?”

“i’ll save that answer for australia, nico,” kimi said, surprised by the laughs from the audience, “but maybe i’ve just got a charm the rest of the grid doesn’t?”

“holy shit,” natalie said, “was this the strategy, y/n?”

“i told him to make them like him? are you not entertained?”

nico, for once, was speechless on stage. george huffed next to toto, waiting for his turn to talk. the german clocked onto this and a devilish smile broke out on his face.

“so george, you and y/n grew up together… do you not have charm? as far as we can tell, you haven’t spoken to y/n in years?”

y/n’s mouth dropped open. jenson was right, there’s no way this format, at least with nico hosting, was ever happening again.

“i have more than enough charm, thank you nico. are you going to ask us anymore questions about the season or is it all just tabloid questions from you tonight?”

“tabloid?! well, now that makes me think you’ve got something to hide… but as for your 2025 season, are you afraid that you might lose to an 18-year-old rookie?”

george sputtered in response, “i have no fear of losing, i just beat a seven time world champion, a rookie, no offence, has no bearing on my season.”

“that’s a big claim, george. you better hope you stick to it. it’ll be your sixth season in formula one, do you think you’ll finally be able to claim the number one driver role?”

george’s face was getting redder and redder as he tried to remain calm. he made eye contact with y/n briefly, giving her the subtlest glare he could.

“i think i made a very good case for myself for the last two seasons and toto has faith in me to lead this team back to where they should be.”

nico had a wolfish grin on his face, he was enjoying this psychological torture a little too much.

“you don’t think toto has more faith in kimi, a driver he allowed to skip an entire step on the junior ladder and is giving his formula one debut at just 18? and straight into a mercedes rather than say… a williams?”

george’s shiny mask was starting to slip. this was meant to be a fun event for fans but had descended into a nico rosberg masterclass of making everyone suffer - and for once y/n was enjoying it.

“classy as always, nico,” george said.

“it’s what i do best,” nico laughed to himself, “back to you kimi, are you intimidated at all by your senior teammate? do you think you can make a case for yourself as the number one driver?”

the italian paused for a moment, thinking to y/n’s advice - he needed people to like him.

“i’m more than happy to play a team game to bring mercedes back to the top,” he smiled to toto, “but make no mistake i’m here to win and i won’t just step aside without good reason.”

“well, this is a duo i’ll be watching closely this season. mercedes!”

the trio shuffled off of stage and y/n let out a sigh of relief, she could throw back as much champagne as she wanted now.

another couple of teams made their way past nico’s questioning, but as nico hulkenberg and gabriel bortoleto made their way off of the stage the audience held their breath. next was ferrari.

charles, lewis and fred vasseur made their way on stage, and as has become classic fashion, lewis situated himself as far from nico as possible.

“welcome, welcome. a different line up this year and much to think about, do you think you can finally bring the championship back to italy?”

fred started on what was likely a pre-written script and y/n tuned out for a second. the ferrari boys looked nothing short of glamorous in their tailored black suits with the yellow of the ferrari logo popping on the left breast. both men looked assured, no nerves, just pure confidence - the type of confidence that draws you to a person.

y/n caught lewis’ eye and he gave her a quick wink, something that did not go unnoticed by jenson beside her.

“what was that all about, rocky?” jenson whispered. y/n kept looking forward, ignoring jenson’s stare burning into the side of her head. the brit kept poking her, “i’m not going to stop until you answer me!”

y/n batted his hand away, “i don’t know what you’re talking about old man, leave me alone!”

“i saw that, hell, the whole place saw that! you are aware that is a man 14 years your senior!”

y/n downed her champagne and whispered to jenson, “listen, i don’t know what the fuck is happening! he came to my apartment and he’s being really nice? i don’t know?!”

jenson looked between the two and grabbed his own champagne. “i was teammates with that guy! you might be a grown up now but he’s really old!”

y/n slapped a hand over her mouth to stop her laughing out loud. jenson did have a point. was lewis actually flirting with her or was he just being nice? was she falling into the same headspace that lando and george were in with her?

“i am not going to get with lewis, jens. he’s just being nice, that’s all. now shut up i want to see if nico makes the brocedes breakup all of our problem.”

nico had finished his interrogation of charles and set his sights on his former teammate. y/n grabbed jenson’s hand in anticipation.

“so lewis, new team, new you? how do you feel coming into a team where charles has dominated for the last five years?”

lewis gives nico a forced smile, “i am excited for the challenge. there’s a lot of changes coming into this season, people leaving and new faces. it’s best to face a challenge head on rather than running.”

“you didn’t run from mercedes? you didn’t want to stick it out and retire with the team that gave you so much success?”

“you’d know all about running wouldn’t you nico?”

y/n dropped her glass of champagne and the rest of the audience gasped but nico did not look phased at all.

“i am happy with my decision, time will tell if you’ll be happy with yours. charles dealt with sebastian, don’t think he’ll roll over for you.”

charles looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but on stage and fred’s face would tell you he’s at the gallows rather than a car launch.

“was in your brief today to make the vibes in here as rancid as possible? as i said i am excited for the season ahead and nothing you can say today will change that.”

lewis took the lead and left the stage, leaving nico alone with a pleased look on his face. the german found y/n’s gaze again and wiggled his eyebrows. if there was ever a man you need to take the heat off of you, he was the one.

there was one final team to go and this entire nightmare of a night would be over. the final team was none other than red bull - nothing could possibly go wrong here could they?

christian, like the other team principals, started with a long-winded spiel that said a whole lot of nothing. y/n smiled widely when she caught max’s eye and he responded with an eye roll directed at christian’s rambling. the dutchman, for a second, had forgotten he was in fact on stage in front of thousands. the pair stare at each other and bite their lips to keep the laughs in.

jenson leaned in again, “not to keep questioning you, but what is happening here? and don’t lie, i know he’s the only one you kept in contact with and who you have been staying with in monaco.”

“it’s nothing! it’s something? i don’t know what it is? we’re just existing together. i think romance in the paddock is the worst thing for me right now. i need to be fully focused on kimi.”

“first of all - we’re exisiting together? that’s so fucking gross. and two - you’re still allowed to have fun?” jenson wiggled his eyebrows.

“not everyone can be the playboy of formula one, stud.”

“true. i’m not sure you have the devilishly good looks to be a playboy - hey”

y/n snatched his glass of champagne and turned back towards the stage just as max took to the microphone.

“so max, do you think there’s a chance of a fifth title in a row?”

max laughed in his signature way, “here i thought you’d gotten all of your aggression out with lewis. we’ll have to see how we line up against the other teams, but you always have to believe you can win every single race, so that’s what i’ll continue to do.”

a quick glance from nico told y/n that her peaceful night hadn’t started just yet.

“you’ll finally have your best friend back in the paddock, are you still excited even though she’ll be in mercedes uniform?”

“i think toto has another thing coming if he thinks she’ll be wearing that ugly uniform,” max said, “but it makes no difference to me what garage y/n is in, we’re like magnets, you can’t keep us a part for long.”

nico hummed, “is that why you were the only one she kept in contact with after the crash?”

“yes? it’s mostly because we’re best friends but also because i’m a decent human being.”

oh fuck.

“how do you mean, max?”

christian tried to butt in, “i don’t think we need to go into that here.”

“oh i’m more than happy to, and nico has been stirring all night, what’s just a little more to add to the pot?”

you could almost hear the audience shuffling to the edge of their seats and for the first time that evening, y/n felt some of the cameras on her. she gave them a small wave and hoped they would pan back to the actual action.

“all i’m saying is that there are a lot of victim complexes in the paddock, it’s full of people who would rather say ‘i don’t know why she doesn’t talk to me?’ rather than do some actual introspection. y/n will talk to you if you’re not an asshole, just as kimi.”

“so you’re saying there’s a truth to the rumours?”

“which rumours? you know, since your employers like to report on so many?”

nico chuckled, “well, the rumours that perhaps the brits in the paddock didn’t get on as well as we were led to believe?”

max smiled, “well, that’s not my story to tell, but i’ve found that if you ask them, they’re more than happy to give you the scoop.”

for a moment, y/n’s heart stopped, fearing that nico would take this as the chance to bring her into the fray. max seemed to sense this as well and added, “but as for me, i’m just happy she’s back in any capacity. i’ve missed my partner in crime.”

“have you spoken about formula one in her break at all? you won all four of your titles in that time?”

“i know she watched it, but we haven’t spoken about it. i respected her boundaries at the time, but i knew she was watching based on some suspiciously timed texts.”

nico laughed, “i’m not sure we can ever stay away from this sport for long.”

“i’m glad that is the case,” max said, more to himself than anyone else.

the red bull boys were ushered off of the stage as nico delivered his closing remarks and announced the musical guests.

“he’s glad that’s the case? oh he’s in deep,” jenson gasped, “you can’t tell me that’s nothing, i rebuke it right this second.”

y/n sighed, standing and heading to the backstage bar. “i really don’t want to think about it jenson.”

“but you’re staying at his house, he’s building shit for your cat and gushing about you on stage!”

“i am well aware, but i don’t really know what you want me to do about that?”

“i want you to get your man and let him treat you how you’re supposed to be!”

y/n picked up another glass of champagne, talking the biggest sip before replying to jenson.

“you’re just as bad as the girls on twitter sometimes.”

kimi bursts through the doors, back in his comfy clothes, and rushes over to y/n. she wraps the italian into a hug.

“i’m so proud of you!”

kimi blushes, rocking back and forth on his feet, “thank you, y/n! i’m so glad we’ve got this out of the way i’m ready to race now!”

jenson laughed along side them, “an eager one, this one. i remember when i had that much energy.”

the rest of the drivers flooded into the room, grabbing drinks or just taking a seat. max, much like kimi, made his way straight to y/n, also pulling her into his chest. he whispered in her ear, “i’m sorry i got carried away talking about you, i just can’t help myself.”

y/n can’t help but feel the butterflies in her stomach at the confession. she was really trying to keep her feelings out of her return to formula one, but seeing max like this was putting a real spanner in the works. the dutchman’s protective nature along side his intense respect for her made her feel special for the first time since the crash.

“i take no offence, maxy. i’ll never say no to a compliment, especially from you.”

the group moves away from the bar and as they settle into their seats backstage, max’s arm wraps around her waist. y/n knew she shouldn’t do it, not here in front of everyone but that’s what her heart wanted. the first few weeks into her return and all the drama was wearing on her and they hadn’t even made it to the paddock yet. she snuggled into max’s side, letting the dutchman brush her hair out of her face.

“y/n?” kimi said from the other side of her, “i’m really happy you’re here, and i hope you’ll let yourself have this,” kimi motioned to max, who was deep in conversation with jenson.

“don’t you worry about that, kimi.”

“you’ve punished yourself for years, please don’t keep telling yourself that you’re not allowed this. also don’t wait up for me, i’m going to crash at ollie’s”

kimi said as his departing gift as he went to catch up with ollie and watch some of the music. y/n let herself relax back into max’s hold and her eyes close, all of the pent up stress of the evening rushing out.

“are we really that boring?” jenson asked.

“do you want to get out of here, y/n?” max asked, when y/n flopped further onto him, he took that as his answer.

grabbing her bag, max took y/n’s hand in his and pulled her from the seat. the pair exchanged hugs with jenson and made a quiet exit from backstage. they tried to be as subtle as possible, but nothing is ever secret in formula one.

jenson slid in beside lewis at the bar.

“you want to tell me what your plan is with her?”

lewis looked at his former teammate in confusion.

“i saw that wink and i know you were flirting with her when you went to her apartment. what’s the plan, you’re 14 years older than her?”

“i don’t have a plan? i felt bad about how i was when she was in formula one, i’m just trying to make her feel welcome again.”

“and winking at her at a televised event is definitely going to help?”

lewis scoffed, “i don’t really like what you’re implying.”

“i’m implying that you need to watch your step, seriously. the vultures are just waiting for her to make one wrong step, don’t give them an excuse to call her a gold digger or anything along those lines.”

“and what if i said i did like her?”

“i’d ask you if you actually know her? you didn’t speak to her after the crash, you didn’t speak to her when she was in the sport so i’m confused to where this would have come from?”

“you can drop the dad act jenson, i’m just being friendly. it looks like max got in there first anyway.”

jenson hummed, “not everything is a competition.”

y/n and max climbed into max’s hire car for the weekend and finally let themselves breathe.

“that was a lot,” y/n said, slipping off her heels, “nico really was out for blood.”

“i found it entertaining, but that usually is a death wish for anything in formula one.”

the pair laughed, and as max turned the ignition, y/n’s taylor swift playlist crackled into life.

“are you heading back to your hotel or do you want to crash at mine?” y/n asked as she put her address into the gps, despite max knowing nearly every route across london to her apartment.

“a chance to avoid team duties for as long as possible? count me in!”

“so you don’t want to spend more time with me? just want to avoid your team?”

max placed his hand on her thigh, “you know i always want to spend more time with you.”

the streets were relatively clear at this time with the event still in swing. max weaved through traffic as they entered west london. the dutchman nestled his car in y/n’s spot for her pink cadillac that was still in monaco. y/n started to fiddle with her heels to put them back on, but max stopped her.

he walked round to her side of the car and picked up her up bridal style. y/n giggled and wrapped her arms around max’s neck. the pair made their way up to her apartment as fast as possible, but made sure to say hi to frank who not so subtlety gave y/n a thumbs up and a wink.

the apartment was quiet without the meows of brando who was also back in monaco with jimmy and sassy. max stopped in the kitchen to pour two glasses of water but y/n went ahead to the bathroom to wash off the grime of the event.

she slipped into bed dressed in her pjamas that consisted of some old gym shorts and one of max’s toro rosso shirts. the dutchman knocked on her door.

“come in, maxy.”

max made his way into the room, placing the glass of water on her beside table. he sat on the edge of the bed, “good night, try not to dream of me too much.” the dutchman leaned down to give her a kiss on the forehead before moving back towards the door.

“max?”

“yes?”

“will you stay with me?”

“always.”

max got under the covers and tentatively reached out to her. sensing the apprehension, y/n turned over and tucked herself under max’s chin. his arms snuck around her waist and for the first time in three years, y/n finally slept peacefully without the images of her crash.

fin.

note: sorry this took so long, i've been a bit of a writing rut but i'm back!

taglist: @folkloresreputation @hc-dutch @shimmermotorsport @96mcobo @eclipsedcherry @formulaal @czennieszn @gothicwidowsworld @emily-b @suns3treading @henna006 @kazgirl20 @anotherapollokid @littlegrapejuice @daemyratwst @annimausi @yawn-zi @lulu-1998 @xsilkesworld @justaf1girl @daddyslittlevillain @evans-dejong @abq654 @elizamoe133 @wierdflowerpower @t1nkerbel1 @okcurran @raizelchrysanderoctavius @skepvids @multilovebot @fernandoalonso14 @jules-kup-172 @m4xgirlie @rorabelle15 @minkyungseokie @formula1-motogpfan @peterholland04 @miureiz @freyathehuntress @lighttsoutlewis @aleatorio1234 @chaosandevelyn@blueberry648579@dog-and-cat-person230@fastandcurious16@obxstiles@cosmicwintr@becca388510@savagittariuspy@tibadi @thisbitxhs-blog @finn-dot-com @scenesofobx @moofilms @alilstressyandlotdepressy @nana-love-bugzzz @mayax2o07 @obsessed-fan-alert @1-queenofpotatoes-1 @jajouska @poppysrin @mimimarvelingmarvel @jiyumie @heeseungthel0ml 

[kavehscanvas]

Chat I'm gonna ramble

I have multiple hyperfixations that every once in a while I think "oh I'm getting normal about this now I think" and suddenly I'm BLASTED with the knowledge that I'm, in fact, not normal about it AT ALL

So this is a list of things I'm normal about until I'm not normal about, for fun

I spend like from a week to a month being EXACTLY the image above, to the point where even >I< get tired of hearing me talk about something

Danganronpa, unfortunately. Resurfaces at least once a year, and so far it's happened 3 times around my birthday. I don't think I can break the curse and I've stopped trying

Steven Universe, but specifically ALL the Ruby and Sapphire appearances. I can binge ONLY the episodes where they appear and sometimes the ones leading up to it for the full impact. That's why my Kavetham Rupphire crossover exists.

Genshin Impact hasn't gone anywhere since I got into it, I never had the chance to think I was normal about it. But every once in a while I might think I'm normal about Enkanomiya, The Chasm, Perilous Trail or Guizhong and I get SLAPPED by my own insanities

HSR but specifically the Xianzhou Luofu continuances from 2.4 and 2.5. I am ABNORMAL about the Yaoqing Trio, I am ABNORMAL about Lingsha, I am ABNORMAL about the transition from Dan Feng to Dan Heng in the shackling prison

Ordem Paranormal as a whole. Since Natal Macabro released I haven't been able to let go of it. I can't do anything without thinking "what if I inserted the NM cast into this". I binged the ending of Desconjuração this week. I watched two whole episodes in one day, and MIND YOU. THE EPISODES ARE 4 HOURS LONG.

Like two months ago I got beamed with Akame Ga Kill thoughts. Chat. It was so much worse than all the other times. I lost track of how many times I watched this anime since 2017. This time I only intended to watch a couple of the episodes, yk "the fun ones" (where my faves die) and ended up watching THE ENTIRE ANIME. In two days. I did not come out of it with my sanity intact. And this time I absorbed even more plot points that I had missed the other days and I was even more analytical of the characters and chat. Chat I don't think I can recover from this one. The Run thoughts come back to me every time I open my gallery. Ohhhhhh vaguely androgynous blonde man with good intentions but questionable actions who is the normalest person in his group and has angel imagery despite having a LOW ASS V NECK that shows a considerable amount of his chest save meeeee. Save me small pink girl with a gun double her size and trauma that turns into motivation. Save me lady who killed a guy with her bare fists with no power back up while she was dying from several gun wounds and also bit into a guy's blade with her teeth and it was literally so attractive I physically had to stop and gush over it because I'm attracted to beautiful and strong women.

This was not my intention but I think that last point is a very good example. I am, in fact, not normal about it. I literally thought a few hours ago "huh maybe I should delete some of these AGK skins, I don't use them a lot" past me I have news and I think you won't like them ...

[wonkixo]

FOOD CRITICS ⎯ ENHYPEN MAKNAE LINE (k. sunoo, y. jungwon, n. riki)

SYNOPSIS in which they fall down bad into the love at first sight trope when all they wanted was to film content and eat good food.

PAIRING youtuber! enhypen maknae line x food industry worker! female reader

GENRE/WARNING(S) strangers to lovers, headcanons, fluff, bits of crack, a few profanities, slight cliffhanger in riki's but happy ending!

AUTHOR'S NOTE i think i got a lil carried away with riki's heh... yet i ran out of ideas to make this an ot7 work sorry :,) but i hope you all enjoy!

likes, reblogs, and any feedback are always appreciated <3

⎯ KIM SUNOO

sunoo would be the cutest youtuber on the web

popular for his adorable mukbangs and food reviews, he was invited to try out working at a trending café for a day

"welcome back to my channel, everyone! today, we were invited to get a behind the scenes look inside of one of seoul's most popular cafés to date, tea bloom!"

there was not an ounce of nervousness in this cutie's body, he was so excited to try out a domestic job (due to its stark contrast with his influencer life)

but when he saw you and learned that you would be his mentor for the day, oh boy he was thrilled

"everyone, meet yn! she is my lovely mentor for the day, she will be guiding and teaching me the ins and outs of working at tea bloom!" "i'm so excited to work with you, sunoo! i've been a fan of yours for ages~"

when you revealed you were a fan of his, the blush that crept upon his fluffy cheeks was evident

the first thing you decided to teach sunoo was how to make a proper iced matcha latte

admittedly this choice was self-indulgent due to your love for matcha

but you also assumed this would be an easy start for someone who was new to the kitchen

sunoo did wonderful as expected

when you finished making your matchas, you two did a taste test of each other's

sunoo already knew yours would be delicious, seeing as your work is what made the café so popular

but when you got around to drink his matcha, you were stunned to say the least

"sunoo, you're such a natural! are you sure you were not a barista before becoming a youtuber?" "oh you're just saying that..." "SUNOO I'M SO SERIOUS."

you decided to also have sunoo watch you bake one of your most popular pastries, french macarons

sunoo was determined to help you in whatever way he could

but he was well aware of how difficult it was to bake french macarons

and he didn't want to mess up your flow

so he let you do your thing while he admired watched you :)

you of course let him take part in the tastings

and encouraged him to copy what you did as best as he could

"don't be shy, sun! you got this, just follow what i do as best you can and don't be afraid of messing up!"

you transitioning from calling him sunoo to sun btw...

the fans were biting their fists at how adorable you two were

at the end of the day, you and sunoo were able to create two perfect batches of french macarons (that sold out in less than an hour may i add)

despite sunoo being known for his soft aura on his channel, fans were quick to note his sweet and comfortable nature around you

not only was sunoo so eager to learn from you, but he was eager to take care of you as well

had to cut a slice of cake? you didn't lift a finger when sunoo was in the kitchen with you, especially near a sharp object

had to grab something out of the oven? sunoo already had his mittens on and was gently pushing you to the side to prevent you from getting burned

had to clean up a drink a customer accidentally spilled? sunoo was already rushing his way over with a mop before you could blink twice

it was as if he owned the cafe and he was the one mentoring you

"guys... i'm sorry but i may be stealing sun away from the spotlight and hire him to work for me instead." "you know yn, i wouldn't mind that." "i wouldn't mind your presence everyday either, sun."

there was clear chemistry between the both of you

the cuteness aggression was insane

after the video was posted, your café gained so many new customers!

ironically enough, your new customers were adamant on trying your french macarons & iced matcha lattes

some innocent middle schoolers who often came by your café after school even asked if you and sunoo were dating

flattered, you would innocently giggle and deny their assumptions

however, unbeknownst to all sunoo's viewers, you two talked every day following your day together

when you two weren't working, you guys spoke so much actually

you would come home from your shift at the café to facetime the cutie pie while he attempted to bake a red velvet cake himself

he would come home from a brand event to facetime and binge watch all versions of love island together

if your schedules aligned, you guys would visit each other's apartments and just enjoy one another's company (with no cameras or customers in sight)

you two were even planning to create a part 2 to your collab! perhaps another "work with me" video...

sunoo: hey ynie!! i hope your shift is going well:) sunoo: hypothetically asking though (forgive me for not asking irl) sunoo: but what would you say if i asked you out for dinner after your shift? yn: hehe hiii my sunny boy yn: im on my break rn but i clock out at 5 today <3 yn: i'll see you tonighttt

or perhaps a "get ready with me for a date!" video :)

⎯ YANG JUNGWON

jungwon was a popular youtuber for filming silly videos purely for entertainment and documentation of his life

whether it be challenges with his friends, deep dive in conspiracy theories, or simple vlogs of his days

on this particular day, he was filming a drive-thru telepathy challenge with heeseung (which they miserably failed btw)

jungwon sat at the drive-thru speaker with no thought behind those boba eyes and cat-like features

"hello, welcome to [insert fast food restaurant here]! what could i get started for you?" "oh yeah um... what do you recommend?"

the speaker recommended him a plain ol' chicken sandwich with a side of fries and a large drink

nothing can go wrong with that, right?

he simply agreed to your coworker's recommendation and paid for his order

jungwon waited as there were cars lined up before him, noticing how heeseung ahead of him managed to order 3 different bags worth of food

jungwon subtly also notices you giving his friend his respective order, where the camera catches a subtle sparkle light up in jungwon's eyes

"so there is absolutely no way hee and i got this right... but guys, the drive-thru girl looks super cute."

eventually jungwon drives up to the pickup window for his turn, where his eyes swore they were in contact with the love of his life (and they were)

"one chicken sandwich with a side of fries and a large drink?" you innocently ask with a gentle smile on your face, waiting for the man to confirm his order before handing it to him.

unfortunately for jungwon, he was too mesmerized to pay attention to what you were saying

he simply nodded his head, to which you responded by handing him his order

jungwon reached for his food, but he truly couldn't take his eyes off of you

so much so, that his fingers slipped and dropped his large drink

"oh my goodness, i'm so sorry! let me get you a new drink real fast..."

you swiftly apologize and turn away before jungwon could even get the chance to take accountability for the mistake

he looks off to the camera propped up on his dashboard with blown out eyes

a small smirk lingers on his face as an idea pops up in his head

you return within a matter of minutes, handing him a new drink and extra napkins

you once again apologize profusely for the silly incident, to which jungwon hands you a $20 bill in response

"what is this?" "a little tip for a really pretty girl."

jungwon's camera catches a playful glint sparkle in his eyes as he flirts

you, unable to respond to jungwon's advances, mumble a shy thank you

but your dilated pupils and rosy cheeks said more than enough to him

as jungwon drives away (not before giving you a cute wink), the camera catches you looking at the bill with a large grin appearing on your face

the bill had a sticky note attached that cutely read: "the spilled drink was my fault. please accept my apologies :) - jungwon" with his number written underneath

jungwon admittedly couldn't even believe himself

shooting his shot in the drive-thru of a fast food restaurant is crazy work

but i bet his fans are even crazier

they were determined to figure out who you were

not for any malicious intent or anything of that nature

but rather they were proud of the man for shooting his shot

seeing jungwon flirt on camera was not an uncommon thing

but those past instances were playfully directed towards his friends he filmed with, never a girl

so jungwon falling head over heels for this cute drive-thru girl was something that was not on his viewers' bingo card

a few videos and hundreds of adamant comments later, jungwon dropped the bomb and admitted that he left his phone number on the $20 he handed you

he left it a mystery as to whether or not you reached out to him

but with the way he kept looking behind the camera and smiling like an idiot at a hidden shadow figure revealed more than just that

"won, you are not slick whatsoever. look at you, you keep glancing back over here!" "sorry, i can't help it when i have such a pretty girl helping me film my videos."

⎯ NISHIMURA RIKI

i picture this man as a shit poster (as in he posts whatever he wants, whenever he wants)

thus he one day decided that he wanted to film a solo yap & mukbang session at his favorite diner

"ello chat, welcome back to the channel. we have no motive or goal for the day, but we're gonna have a nice solo date at one of my favorite local diners. not saying the name because i'm gatekeeping :3"

the diner was not too busy given that it was close to midnight

you were one of the few waitresses on duty at the time

and riki just so happened to be seated in your section of the diner

riki paid little to no attention to his surroundings at the time

he was given a basket of breadsticks to enjoy while he waited for his waitress to arrive

so while he was yapping about the political and economical state of the world /j

his beautiful waitress (aka you teehee) finally approaches him

"good evening! is there anything i could get you started with?"

since you asked so kindly, bro so badly wanted to ask for your number right then and there

but being the nonchalant emo he is, he simply ordered a ramyeon and a bubble tea (what a cutie pie)

you swiftly wrote down his order and assured him that his food will be out as quickly as possible

you left him behind with an adorable smile and reassurance that if he ever needed something to not be shy and flag you down as needed

riki watched as you walked away, the camera catching a cheeky grin grow across his face

"chat... abort mission. the waitress is quite literally the prettiest human being i have ever laid my eyes upon." he aggressively whispers to his camera, which he had propped up by the condiments beside him.

purposely kept ordering just so you could keep coming back to his table

with the amount of times you were sent back to his table, you would think he would garner the courage to at least make you aware of his interest

but nahhhh

the camera pitifully filmed riki ogle you throughout the night

thank goodness you worked at a 24 hour diner

was too shy to do anything but order food and anxiously eat

he eventually racked up a hefty bill by the end of the night

minus $300 from his bank account and no cute waitress' phone number... big L moment right there for nishimura riki

BROTHER DIDN'T EVEN GET YOUR NAME

he eventually went home with an hour and a half's worth of footage of just him eating, ordering more food, and of course, mindlessly talking about his waitress

"food? 10/10. customer service? 100/10. the waitress? holy hell, hit me up... please."

his fans were not used to watching him be such a simp

normally his videos consisted of him crashing out over video games or baseball

but over a girl? and a very pretty one at that

this coming from a guy who has not featured a girl on his channel once before

his video made big numbers on youtube

his adorable and flustered reaction to his waitress made everyone want to search for this mystery woman

however, with riki not revealing the name of the diner (he was adamant to gatekeep this spot) & little to no telltale signs throughout the video

it was lowkey a lost cause, much to riki's dismay

however due to the video's popularity, it wasn't long until riki's video appeared on your own youtube homepage

you recognized the diner easily from his thumbnail

and not to mention there was no way you would forget the cute boy who managed to return home with 5 to-go bags all by himself

you decided to take initiative and contact him through his instagram (which he expertly linked in the description of the video)

please help me find the love of my life.... PRETTY WAITRESS IF YOU SEE THIS HIT ME UP PLSPLSPLS INSTAGRAM (pls only dm me if you are the waitress 😞): nishiriki05

lovelyyn: hii this is the waitress from your little yt video haha, my name is yn :) nishiriki05: OHMY GOD nishiriki05: i mean Hi I'm Riki!

[thefrontmanscockwarmer]

Obsession (Part 2)

Player 001 x reader

Masterlist <- Comment on this post to be added to the tag list

Part 1

Tw: stalker!In Ho

Note: (c/n) stand for cat name

5 years had gone by and all In Ho had to go off of were bank statements and transactions to know where you were and if you were still alive. He knew where you lived, your favorite places to eat, to watch movies, and where your favorite shop was. He also knows you have new kitten, but not his name, probably something like (c/n).

No new lover. Nothing since you left. You picked up a job as a (whatever you wanna be), and were living. He knew in his mind the reason you couldn’t move on was because of him and he knew it.

He snuck around and watched you through plain view. Sometimes he sent people to watch you and report back to him. Other times, he’d travel to where you were and stalk you, follow you to the market, ducking you between isles, or on the train, watching you through a crowd of people.

He would stand in front of the cottage you bought on the edge of town, how easy it’d be to take you. You had a bad habit of leaving your windows open. Leaving your life open for all to see. He’s watched you masturbate more times than he can count. He has videos of you throwing your head back as you cum. Your moans quietly seeping through the window. He would jerk off at the same time, cumming in the darkness as he watched you, leaving his cum on the flowers that you planted along the walls of your house.

He hated to admit to himself but he was jerking off to you almost every right, smelling your jacket like a sick man. I am sick he admitted.

So many days and nights he was grabbing onto his bed sheets, pressed up against his shower wall or even in his chair by the big screen, he was cumming for you, with you in mind, he missed you. But he missed your pussy more. Today, he was determined to get it. He approached you as you drank a coffee, typing on your laptop.

“Hello ma’am” he bowed “would you like to hear about your lord and savior Jesus Christ?”

“No, not right n-“ you stopped. “What’re you doing here, In Ho? It’s been 5 years, do you think what I said changed?” You say coldly.

“I know it hasn’t.” He sat before you can continue speaking. “I miss you (y/n). I mean, really fucking miss you. It’s been a lonely 5 years, I miss your smell, your touch, your hair. I miss the way you talk and your smile. I just miss you”

“You know, for a very intelligent man, you’re acting and sounding really fucking stupid.” You scoff rolling your eyes at him. “I mean, you miss me. So what? I miss Young il, but I’m never getting him back, am I?”

“But I’m right here?”

“No… you aren’t young il… I don’t know you”

“And what, you think I lied?!” You nodded. “About what? Huh? What would I possibly lie to you about?”

“Everything, that whole relationship we developed, that sex we had, that love.” You say. “As far as I’m concerned, Young il was an angel and you don’t even exist.”

“But my wallet does?”

“Honestly, you can have your card back.” You shake your head. “I don’t need dirty money”

“It’s clean. It comes from the stocks i invest in. Really (y/n), do you honestly think I’d give you game money?” He looks at you intensely. He wanted to tell you how attracted to you he still was. How his cock still aches for you. How he just wishes to fuck you. It was sitting across from you that he realized he was going to fuck you… whether you liked it or not.

“What do you want?” You sighed finally.

“One date with you. Please.” He stated. He knew deep in his heart that you still wanted him, you yearned for him. He needed you.

“No” you say and stand up.

“Look, one date, to show you who I really am as a person.” He argued. “Who I am outside of those damned games that ruined us. If after that you still decide you hate me, that’ll be all. You can live your life and I can live mine knowing at least I tried to make it better” he pleaded. His eyes pulling at your heart strings as they once did. You saw Young il for a brief moment, before seeing In Ho. You saw the man that was so sweet and gentle.

“Fine. One.” you conceded. You traded numbers and you left. Not knowing that In Ho could now tap your phone, could ruin your whole life. But truly the only thing he wanted to ruin was you.

You made it to your little cottage. It stood on the edge of the city with a small village of cottage farmers surrounding it. Fluffy baby cows and little lambs screamed at you from your neighbors house. Horses neighbors and goats cried. Your life was perfect, this place was perfect. Young il would have loved it… In Ho obviously prefers different style of life. Black and gold, power, money.

“Hi (c/n)” you say as he purred at you. He looped around you as you walked further into your house. You placed your items on your kitchen table. It was already 6. You cooked some dinner and watched an American drama you found on Netflix. Laughing along with the characters.

In Ho made it to his own home. The black and gold now insulted his eyes, it had ever since he saw the disgust on your face while you spoke angry and heartbroken. He sat at his computer, plugging in his phone. He stayed up for hours, deep into the night, hacking into your phone.

“Photos” he said aloud as he clicked it. He found a treasure trove of pictures. You with some friends, with family, birthdays, dinners, then he found your private photos.

“Let’s see (y/n), what do you do all alone” he whispered opening it. Pictures and videos of yourself floated into view, things other men should never see. Disgusting men like him should never see. He quickly searched through your sent and deleted messages, as far back as he could go, they’d never been sent. He returned back to the photos and stared at each on individually, videos playing, hardening his cock.

In Ho began to touch himself as he watched, his hand moving in sync with yours on the screen. He felt like he was participating in your intimate moment, like an invisible partner who you couldn't see or feel but was there nonetheless. He couldn’t help but freely moan into the emptiness of his room.

As the video played on, In Ho's movements became faster and more urgent. He could feel himself getting closer to climax, his heart pounding in his chest. He felt like a teenager again, watching porn, anxious that his parents may walk in. The thought that these were moments meant for no one else's eyes but yours made it even more exhilarating for him.

“I’m gonna cum” you said on camera. To him. “Oh my god, I’m gonna fucking cum” In Ho was getting sent into overdrive heavy sighs coursing through his lungs. “Oh god, Young il, I’m gonna cum on your fingers” he lost it. You were pleasuring to the thought of him, maybe his over persona, but still him nonetheless.

With one final stroke from you on screen and a simultaneous motion from In Ho's own hand came the peak of pleasure for him followed closely by release. His orgasm washed over him so strongly it left him gasping loudly within seconds all over both his keyboard and along edges near the monitor until reaching very tip top edge finally. He was panting, falling backwards, sinking deep into his chair. Cum heavily covered his desk space, now stained forevermore, a mess entirely due to a solely singular sickening act alone performed freely without fear. Through his sinful act.

If you knew would you forgive him?

[secret-moonstruck]

WAKE ME UP | ENHYPEN

— Pairing: enhypen x fem!reader | (Masterlist)

— Synopsis: You decide to wake them up in a special way.

— Genre: smut

— Warnings: oral sex, praising, making out, begging, cum eating.

— Notes: I'm new to this writing thing, and English is not my first language. Sorry for not writing so well, I wish to improve and bring better and well-written stories.

Heeseung: It hadn't been long since you had gone to sleep when you woke up feeling Heeseung hard against you, for a moment you were surprised, then you remembered one of his fantasies so you couldn't help but smile.

Carefully not to wake him you turned to face him, then started pumping his member but then a better idea came into your mind when you heard him moan. Turning on top of him, mounting him, rubbing against his erection, you were startled when suddenly his hands grabbed your waist tightly and your body was thrown against the bed. Not long after, you were already a mess of moans and tears as he fiercely pushed himself inside you.

Jake: You heard that Jake went to practice earlier than the others so you decided to surprise him. But when you entered the room you saw him sleeping, he was so tired that instead of practicing he ended up sleeping while watching the choreography video. You decided to give him a gift to cheer him up. Sitting next to him you ran your hands down his body until you reached his pants, touching him slowly with gentle movements, feeling him get excited you moved closer to kiss his lips, he woke up confused, but soon let out a moan when he felt your hands.

- Please continue Y/N. - He said, laying his head back on the sofa. 

His hand now directly pumping his exposed member, bending over him using his mouth to finish the job, which didn't take long.

He was very happy with his gift, when the members arrived they were surprised that he was so excited and willing to rehearse.

Jay: It was quiet on the plane, everyone was asleep, but you were bored. As you watched Jay something popped into your mind. With a smile you slid your hand under the blanket that was on his lap, sneaking into his pants and boxers, before long he was already hard under your touches, but your little play didn't last long, soon you felt a tightness around you wrist, when he looked at your eyes, a shiver run through your body.. You rarely saw him with that expression, and when you did, you knew you were in trouble. 

- Again being dirty in public, you know very well what happens when you do that, don't you?

And yes you knew it, he would punish you until he made you cry. Your legs shook in anticipation as he dragged her to the back of the plane. Before being pushed into the bathroom you saw the flight attendant's irritated look, but you didn't have time to feel embarrassed. 

Sunghoon: You were going to spend the day together, so you went to the dorm early but he was still sleeping.

When you entered his room a smile appeared on your face, he was sleeping so fully that you felt a little guilty for the thought that invaded your mind, but he himself said he found it interesting, why not?

Silently you sat on the bed next to him, your hands sliding under the cover until you reached him, slowly you began to caress him, it didn't take long for him to be extremely hard in your hands, as he moaned in his sleep. You watched as his eyes slowly opened, how his shocked expression was soon replaced by a dirty smile.

- A good way to wake up. - He said pulling her for a kiss.

The way he seemed more wild and aggressive made you realize that you were going to pay dearly for your little joke.

Sunoo: When you woke up and heard a low moan you ignored it, but when you heard it again but this time your name you froze. 

When you turned around you saw your boyfriend still sleeping, his expression tense, then you heard another groan. Then a smile appeared on your face… was that perverted little boy having a dirty dream about you? As soon as the thought arose you were already under the covers, with him in your mouth, moans coming from him more frequently, even in his dream he moved wanting more, soon you felt him tense up and noticed that he was waking up. You looked at him as he removed the covers in surprise.

- Y/N...what are you...? - He tried to speak but instead another moan left his lips. 

It didn't take long for him to come in you mouth.

- Um… Thank you for breakfast. - You said after swallowing everything. His expression was priceless, but also dangerous.

Jungwon: The movie was halfway through when you noticed that Jungwon was sleeping, he insisted on watching and fell asleep, you rolled your eyes in annoyance. When you remembered him saying something about being woken up in a special way, you thought it might be a good way to get your “revenge”.

To confirm that he was sleeping you slowly began to touch him over his sweatpants, while massaging his member you smiled as he became hard under your touch, when you heard him moan you pulled his pants along with his boxers showing off his erection.

Your tongue running along his length, when you licked the tip you felt a hand on your head.

- Really a bitch. You didn't even wait for me to wake up.. - Before pushing himself into her mouth

Niki: You were on a trip to the beach with your friends. Apart from Jay who was driving everyone had slept. Your hands were intertwined with Niki's under a blanket you always took with you on trips. As he slept he ended up pulling his hand further up into his lap, a light went on in his head. Releasing his hand you began to slowly massage him still over his pants, you felt him getting excited and continued touching him, a moan left his lips and you froze when Heeseung who was on the bench in front of you looked back. You pretended to be distracted looking away, he ignored you and turned back.

Not long after, he let out another moan but this time louder, this time everyone turned to you, at the exact moment he woke up and groaned again. Pulling back your hand you wanted to disappear in embarrassment while they complained about you being dirty.

— Note2: Sorry if it's not good, I'll try to improve it.

[potatoes83]

I appreciate the modifier "almost". Now, there was definitely a shift between the idealism of the white picket fence, the perfect family, Honey, I'm home world of the 50s and 60s, and say Married with Children, or The Simpsons. Both great sitcoms in their own right, but it was definitely a relatively new trope of the tit for tat between Peg and Al, or walking through the door to find Lisa on a hunger strike, and Bart smashing a hole through the drywall with a hammer, because reasons.

But there was this trope that definitely started more in the mid to latter period of our idealized Americana, and it most quickly comes to mind with The Flintstones. Now, I've opined on this before, but it bugs the hell out of me, because it's one we haven't yet been able to crack. It remains insidious. There's two sides to this. The first, and perhaps most obvious, is the fact that while Fred and Wilma love each other, one wrong move and she can be an absolute balls cutting bitch. Like seriously, if you have to sneak around to go bowling with the water buffalo lodge, crawling through the window of your own home because it's late and Wilma is either waiting to beat your ass with a cast iron skillet, or get pissed off and go to her mother's with the kid, what the hell is that? Like, living in the real non-idealized world, I don't have to worry about these sort of retributions. There is not going to be punishment or resentment because I want to hang out with my friends.

But then the other side, probably more subtle, is the fact that Fred is a freaking clod. And in this trope, the man always is. Wilma is pissed because Fred managed to forget their anniversary, went out bowling with the guys instead, said he'd be home by 8:00 to watch the kid because Wilma has a graniteware party or some shit that she told him about weeks ago, and instead comes sneaking in at a quarter to 12.

Now of course, the writing on this is just cheap humor. Supposedly relatable, one of those "uh oh, Fred's in the dog house again, we've all been there" sort of things. That's the point of a sitcom, it's idealized, dramatized, all sorts of other ized... but this thing started around that time, and it remains damaging to this day. Because if you look at male female couples as portrayed by the media, you see one of two things.

Going back to the age of The Flintstones, Fred is this big stupid blowhard popping off to anyone who will listen that he's the man of the house, he's not going to take no guff from Wilma for hanging out with the guys, and then comes home completely cucked both because she's downright vicious, but also kind of has a point because he's in the wrong, and is too arrogant to realize it because man. She's been cooking and cleaning all day, she asked him to do one thing, and he managed to screw it up because man. And you see that these days. Oh, she's pissed off, well he's just going to double down, he's going to tell her who the man of the house is, and then he gets the look. Granted, you see this one quite a bit less as time has gone on, because in general, you see strong men a lot less.

So then there's the other thing, and this is a more modern take, where the man is just a fucking idiot. I mean just this completely helpless man-child, thank goodness he is with this snarky judgmental always right woman, because if it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be able to tie his shoes. Anything more complicated than football, nachos, and grunting, he is invariably going to fuck up, so we need her to come to the rescue by clicking something on her cell phone and calling in professionals to deal with it. Of course, while giving a snarky comment, and a holier than thou look. Good thing he's busy watching the game, he won't be in the way when she's getting railed by the plumber she had to call because he couldn't figure out how to put soap in the dishwasher.

What It ultimately boils down to is partnership. I won't even say equality, because that word has been really somewhat co-opted, and wouldn't come across is what I'm trying to get at. Marriage is a partnership. And there are traditional roles. But that is certainly not to say that you are locked into them. Historically, the man does the outside yard work, maybe not the flower gardening, works and provides for the family, the woman takes care of the inside stuff, the cooking the cleaning the vacuuming and all that. He provides for the home, she makes the home. And there is nothing wrong with this, that was a big change with the radfem movement of the 60s, was this idea that so-called traditional gender roles were somehow subjugating to women.

So in our case, I'm the primary provider, I maintain the outside of the house, the home repairs and upkeep, let's call that the traditional masculine gender role. But then I also do most of the cooking. I enjoy it, and I happen to be a trained chef. I'm also home first by a couple hours. The laundry is, I would say, probably split evenly if not leaning a little more towards me, but then it's like I'll do the laundry, but she'll fold and put away all the laundry. Partnership. What It ultimately boils down to is what needs doing. If I'm in the kitchen and the dishwasher needs unloading and reloading, then I'll probably do it. Or maybe she will. She might vacuum, I might vacuum, it just depends who decides to take it upon themselves to do it.

So in a partnership, neither of you are stuck doing a certain thing, or more to the point condemned to do it because of some arbitrary rule. Like she has never mowed the lawn, but that's because it's something that I really enjoy doing. It's a great way to blow off the stress of the work week, it's something that I just really like. And I can't think of any chore around here that she's done that I haven't, but that's because I lived with roommates or out on my own for quite a few years.

I'm getting off on a tangent here, but the point is, we somehow went from an idealism that was based on a reality of partnership, to this almost him versus her scenario. If I had to sneak around and lie to hang out with my friends because she's going to be pissed off no matter what, I wouldn't have married her. And she is strong, intelligent, and beautiful, so if I was one of those "woman, I worked all day, get in that kitchen and cook me a steak" kind of lunkheads, I would hope she wouldn't have married me either. I recognize that. I'm 41 years old. And was raised with two parents, both of whom were in a partnership to run the house and raise a family.

I mean, imagine being a young man today. If you have any kind of strength or self-confidence, you're told that's toxic masculinity, and you just can't be doing that. All your masculine role models in the media are cucks, and why would you want to date the judgmental trash that is portrayed as a woman. This shit needs to change, and I'm not talking a Hallmark movie script either; real, substantive change. Nuclear family, backbone of society, partnerships, in which both parties better each other. 🥔

[cursingtoji]

the cardio machine i want is on the cardio machine

cw: gym rat toji x loser!gf - size kink, sweat kink (?), toji is a big old meanie. loser!gf series: geto gojo nanami.

loser!reader who, like a million other sedentary people on new year’s eve, said “new year new me” and proceeded to enroll at the local gym.

gym rat!toji who knew how things are in the beginning of the year, so the first week he arrives one hour earlier than usual to avoid all the lazy fucks that won’t last two months.

of course he makes a few mental bets on the ones that would quit and how long it would take, you included.

it’s easy to spot the “i don’t want lift weights cause i don’t want look jacked” type of girl.

at the breaks between one set and the other he looked around, not surprised to see you slowing down the treadmill after running not even two whole minutes.

sometimes he caught you staring at him through the mirror, not an uncommon occurrence amonst the women there, though you surprised him one day by tapping his shoulder after he finishing his weighted squats.

“can you… give me a few tips?” he looked so intimidated, from up close his shoulders looked like a wall, he stared at you from above, dark green eyes seemed to be heavily judging you, “never mind this was a bad idea, sorry” you turned around, grabbing you bottle and running off the gym.

by the time you managed to gather the courage to show your face back there two whole weeks had passed.

“consistency is the key you know” you were distracted looking down your phone while slowly walking the treadmill when the handsome man appeared beside you, the sudden presence destabilized you.

before you could become the viral video of the week when inevitably a gym employee decides to post the security footage of your ass rolling off the active treadmill, toji wrapped one big arm around your waist and pulled you to the stable floor.

“you caught me off guard the other day” he said completely unfazed by saving you from a life of embarrassment, “then you disappeared.”

“yeah i didn’t know if i wanted to come back anyways, i haven’t see any results so far” you pulled the hem of your shirt down.

toji snorted, “‘course you ain’t seeing results, sweetheart, you don’t lift.”

“well, it’s hard…” toji rolled his eyes, there was always an excuse.

though he also did a new year’s resolution of being more patient, for his kids primarily but teaching a cute thing like you could be a good exercise too.

soon enough, toji was correcting your form, texting you asking why you haven’t showed up to the gym and ringing your bell incessantly when you complained about muscle pain and said you wouldn't go that day.

“it’ll feel better once you start to move” he explained, resting on your door frame when you opened the door on your pajamas.

“let me alone, just today” you whined.

“you asked for my help now go put on something without cartoons on it” he waited for you to turn around and slapped your butt. it had been only one week he was coaching you but there was already a weird intimacy due to the fact he was pretty much always looking at your body and touching you.

to correct your form. obviously.

"what do i have to do today, coach fushiguro?" you asked from your bedroom through an ajar door which allowed toji to get a peek at your pink underwear and cute ass.

"cardio, bicycle first. get some blood flowing on those sore muscles" he tilted his head and raised his eyebrows watching you bend over to grab a biker shorts at the lowest drawer then holding back a laughter at the grunt of pain coming from you.

"once it gets better i can teach you other types of cardio" he walked around your kitchen examining your cabinets and stuff you kept in your fridge. needless to say it was all junk.

"can't wait" you replied sarcastically, failing to understand the meaning.

it took a few more days till you got used to toji's training, then he decided to focus on your upper body.

"such a simple movement, how do you manage to get that wrong?" he raised from the bench he was sitting behind you watching your form through the mirror. you almost dropped the weights at your feet when he came close. it was almost scary how much bigger than you he was especially seeing it throght the mirror. his right hand wrapped around yours on the dumbell and his bicep touched your arm as he pushed your arm closer to your body, "tuck your elbows in, straight your back" his free hand pushed your shoulders till they were touching his chest.

how come he smelled so good, so... musky and...

"are you even making any force?" he lowered his head, his reflection looking annoyed. so you decided to ignore the sudden heat between your thighs and flex your arm the way he taught you.

and just like he promised, when you were consistent enough and handling a good 5 minute run he decided to show you a more pleasing cardio.

"toji please~" you whined, thighs burning from riding him, you were using his rock hard abdomen as a support, but still.

"one more minute, come on" he looked at the watch on his wrist and slapped your ass, "haven't i prep-ed you good enough?" his thumb rubbed your bottom lip then pushed in meeting your tongue, where you tasted yourself in his digits one hour after he ringed your bell and said he was going to reward your good discipline, but he had to strech you first.

"good girl" you felt his abdomn flex when he raised from his laying position on your bed, "now leave it to daddy" he pecked your lips and quickly changed positions, putting a pillow under your ass and rolling his neck to start his cardio of the day.

[v6quewrlds]

Can you plzzzz write something based off the new Alo ad song with Joe. Maybe y/n and Joe have been dating for awhile, their heading to his house when he decides to take the "long way home" just to admire her/he realizes he's in love/falling in love with her!

Btw I love your writes sososo much!!! Like have you ever thought about writing a book frfr? Kinda new here so not sure if you've ever talked about it but yeah <3

imagine taking the long way home with joe.

author's note⠀⁎⠀got so carried away writing this. i honestly don't think i have the attention span/commitment required to write a book lol. but this song is the cutest ty for requesting <3

Three short knocks on the mahogany of her front door echoed through the hallway. Her heart nearly leaped out of her chest as she paused her frantic search for the last earring she'd lost amidst the chaos of packing. She rushed to the door, her pulse racing like it did every time the anticipation of seeing Joe caught her in its grasp. She took a deep breath, casting a quick glance at the mirror by the door before opening it with a soft smile and bright eyes.

"Hey," Joe greeted with a casual ease, a bouquet of white peonies in one hand and a bottle of her favorite wine in the other. His grin was as warm as ever, his blue eyes scanning the room, taking in the sight of her apartment in the throes of preparation for her short getaway.

She moved to the side, allowing him to enter. "Hey," she echoed, closing the door before turning to step into his arm for a brief hug and a chaste kiss. "You didn't have to bring these," she said, nodding at the flowers and the wine, taking them from him with a gentle show of awe.

"They're your favorites," he said simply, tucking his hands into his pockets with a shrug. She felt a warmth spread through her chest, a feeling she was getting quite used to around him. She took the bouquet to the kitchen to find a vase, her mind racing with the excitement of the days ahead.

The apartment was small but cozy, filled with the scents of her favorite candles and the faint sound of an old Drake song playing in the background. As she filled a vase with water, Joe wandered in, peering over her shoulder. "You almost ready to go?"

She nodded, setting the flowers down. "Just gotta take the trash out. I don't wanna leave with it just sitting here. I'll take it on our way out."

Joe offered to do it for her, a gesture that touched her more than he could know. She watched as he took the bag, telling her he'd be right back as he headed out the door. As he turned, she took the opportunity to sneak a peek at him. He was dressed casually, a blue crewneck and worn-in gray jeans that hugged his athletic frame. His hair was ruffled slightly, as if he'd run his hands through it, a nervous trait which she found utterly endearing.

While Joe was gone, she took one last look around her apartment, ensuring she hadn't forgotten anything. Her eyes fell on the fridge, a collection of photos held by magnets. The newest addition was a polaroid of them in the mirror. Her camera was covering half of her face as Joe appeared to be mid-sentence. She couldn't remember what he'd said, but she could see the laughter in his eyes, the joy she felt that day reflected back at her.

They had known each other for a year and had been dating for four months, but it felt like forever. She couldn't believe how fast she had fallen for Joe, having been one heartbreak away from swearing off men entirely. Yet here she was, about to spend her precious PTO in his arms, in his house, surrounded by his life.

When he returned from tossing the trash, he found her with her back to the door, her hand lingering over the fridge, the photo of them smiling back at her. He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder. "Ready?" he whispered, his breath tickling her ear.

She turned in his embrace, leaning into him. "Yeah," she murmured, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Let me grab my things." She stepped away from the fridge, breaking the momentary reverie, and picked up her bag, her heart thumping against her chest as he held out a hand to take it from her.

As they left her apartment, Joe led her to his car parked at the curb. The car was a sleek black, gleaming under the streetlights, the seats plush leather as she slid into the passenger side. They'd had their fair share of fancy dinners and morning afters since they started dating, but there was something about staying at Joe's place - four days uninterrupted - that made this feel different.

On the way to Joe's, she couldn't shake the feeling that he was being unusually quiet. She tried to keep the conversation flowing, filling the silence with tales of her workplace dramas and the latest episode of the show they were watching together. Yet Joe's responses were shorter than usual, his eyes on the road as if it held secrets he hadn't yet uncovered. The only solace to her nervous mind was his warm hand on her thigh, a silent reassurance that he was still there with her, even if his thoughts seemed a mile away.

She turned her attention to the road, realizing they were taking a route she didn't recognize. "You're not taking me to some sketchy motel, are you?" she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Joe chuckled, glancing at her with a twinkle in his eye. "Nah, I just wanted to admire the scenery," he said, his thumb tracing gentle circles on her thigh. "If I wanted to kidnap you, I'd be a little more creative than using my own car."

She rolled her eyes but couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips. "Good point," she conceded. They drove on in the comfortable silence, the hum of the car engine the only sound between them. As they approached a red light, Joe took the opportunity to shift in his seat, turning to her with a seriousness that made her pause mid-sentence.

"You okay?" she asked, her voice trailing off as she met his gaze. There was something in Joe's eyes she hadn't seen before, a vulnerability that made her heart swell. He reached over and took her hand, his thumb brushing against her knuckles in a rhythmic pattern.

"I just wanna look at you," he hummed simply, his gaze roaming over her features like a photograph he was memorizing. She felt a sudden shyness bloom in her chest, the weight of his stare making her self-conscious. She tried to laugh it off, but it came out as more of a nervous giggle. "You're so beautiful."

Her face warmed at his words, and she playfully swatted his hand away. "Joe, the light's been red for ages. You're gonna miss it," she said, but there was no bite to her tone.

He didn't break eye contact, his expression earnest. "I know these lights," he said, a half smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "We'll be here a while." His right moved to cradle her face, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone.

Her eyes searched his, the playfulness in her gaze slowly giving way to something deeper. "Joe…" she breathed, not quite sure what to make of the sudden shift in their usual dynamic.

The light turned green, and her eyes flicked to the rearview mirror. No honks yet. She couldn't hold back her laughter, breaking the tension. "Alright, you've had your moment, now drive," she playfully ordered, her voice a mix of affection and amusement.

Joe's smile grew, and he finally turned back to the road, his hand falling away from her face to its spot on her thigh. His foot eased off the brake, and they rolled through the now-green light. She watched as the scenery passed by, her thoughts racing with the unspoken words that had filled the car. The rest of the drive was spent in a gentle quietude, their fingers intertwined, the occasional glance shared between them speaking volumes.

When they arrived at Joe's house, it was a stark contrast to the cozy warmth of her apartment. Expensive and sprawling, it was a testament to his success, with high ceilings and floor-to-ceiling windows that revealed a perfectly manicured lawn and a pool that reflected the moonlight. It stood alone on a hill, a good distance away from the other affluent homes in the immediate area.

He pulled into the garage and cut the engine, the silence enveloping them as the door rolled down behind them. She felt a peculiar mix of excitement and trepidation as Joe opened her door for her. She stepped out, her sneakers setting against the cold cement floor, her eyes scanning the room filled with various equipment and a few luxury cars. She couldn't help but feel a touch overwhelmed by the grandeur of his life, so different from her own.

"You taking it in?" Joe asked, his hand lingering on hers as he helped her out of the car.

She took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart. "Yeah," she said with a nod, "just a little…wowed by all of this." She gestured to the garage, taking in the grandeur of his home.

"Still?" He teased with that deep chuckle of his. "You've been in here at least twice before."

"Every time feels like the first," she replied, a hint of awe still in her voice as her eyes fell back to his. She could feel her breath catch as Joe leaned in, his gaze never leaving hers, his thumb still brushing against the back of her hand. The air in the garage grew thick with anticipation, and she stepped closer, her free hand reaching up to cup his cheek.

"You okay?" She asked again gently, her fingers brushing through the soft hairs at the nape of his neck. His eyes searched hers, a faraway look swirling in his baby blues, one she hadn't seen before.

"Yeah," he murmured, "Just…thinking." He stepped closer, his other hand finding the small of her back, pulling her into him until she was nestled against his chest. She could feel the steady thump of his heart against her own, his warm breath fluttering against her face as he exhaled as if searching for the right words.

"I love you." He said finally, the words coming out so softly she wasn't sure if she'd heard him right.

She froze, her eyes widening. She had felt it, of course. The way he looked at her, the way he held her, the little things he did. But she hadn't expected to hear it, not yet. Her heart skipped a beat as she stared up at him, her eyes searching his, looking for any sign of a joke or tease. But Joe's face was earnest, his eyes holding hers without a trace of humor.

She searched for the words she hadn't yet said out loud, the words that had been growing in her chest for weeks now. They felt heavy on her tongue, but she knew they were true. "I love you too," she whispered, her voice trembling slightly. The moment stretched out as if time had paused just for them.

Joe's face broke into a smile, the tension in his shoulders melting away. He leaned down to kiss her, a gentle, lingering kiss that spoke of love and relief. She felt her heart swell, her hands coming up to wrap around his neck, deepening the kiss. They broke apart, both breathing heavily, exhaling together as if staring in a mirror.

"I've been waiting to tell you," he murmured, his voice a hoarse whisper. "I didn't know if it was too soon, but I couldn't not say it."

She leaned into him, her hand still on his neck, her eyes searching his. "I've been wanting to say it," she said, her voice filled with warmth and understanding. "I just didn't expect it to come out like this."

Joe chuckled, his eyes shining with affection. "Well, I figured I'd make it a memory worth keeping," he said, his thumb still stroking her cheek. The silence that followed was peaceful, the only sound their synchronized breaths and the distant hum of the garage door motor.

She felt a warmth spread through her, a warmth that seemed to banish the cold from the concrete around them. "It's definitely one I'll hold onto," she said, her voice low and earnest. She leaned into his embrace, feeling the strength in his arms, the beat of his heart. It was perfect.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi sex witch! I (a teen) was talking with my friends (also teens) about sex, specifically hookups with people you aren’t necessarily romantically involved with. They said that as a teen that’s a bad idea, since hormones or whatever fuck with uour brain and cause an unhealthy obsession or smth we watched rocky horror immediately after and I forgot the details. Is that true? That sounds not true, teens have sex and oftentimes have sex with people they aren’t in relationships with, and I’ve literally never heard anything like that before they said it. Anyway, as a horny teen who wants to engage in some no-romance hookups I’d like to know if this would idk turn my brain to mush or whatever

hi there, friend,

listen: there is no existing age where sexual and romantic entanglements don't put people at risk of getting their feelings hurt if things don't go the way they hoped. that's not something you grow out of when you're done being a teenager; it comes free with being a person. a hot tip that nobody wants to talk about is that this also isn't exclusive to sexual and romantic relationships; caring about your friends or your family or your neighbors or your pets or anything at all comes with the potential to get burned because giving a shit is inherently vulnerable. and yet, we do it anyway! isn't that beautiful?

teenagers have a reputation for having very high drama relationships because most teenagers are experiencing a lot of firsts - first crush, first date, first relationship, first kiss, first partnered sex, first heartbreak, etc - and firsts are exciting and scary and engender a lot of big feelings. your that's quite understandable; everything is more stressful when you haven't done it before. as I'm shuffling towards 30, I find that the times I feel youngest are when I'm most uncertain and out of my element, because such a big part of being young is having a very limited frame of reference and no idea how to cope with a great deal of things.

(conversely, getting older mostly involves mellowing out because you know how to handle way more situations and solve way more problems than you did when you were younger.)

a lot of moralizing panic around teenagers' sexuality tries to paint teenagers being sexual as A Bad Thing Always, No Exceptions, and try to push the idea that teenagers just shouldn't be permitted any form of sexual exploration. I think that's bullshit, partly because it's impossible to actually enforce and mainly because denying sexual expression is deeply cruel, and also because the teen years are a really important window for practicing for adulthood. including intimacy! great time to practice intimacy, and I sorely wish every teenager had the space and security to comfortably explore with support from their guardians.

when I caution young people about sex, it's just to say that, yes, sex can sometimes cause new problems and new feelings that you don't know how to deal with. fear or anxiety or insecurity can make people say and do things that hurt them and others all the time, especially in intimate relationships, so be careful and do your research to cut down on the risks you can control (for instance: following safer sex practices, keeping your body clean and healthy, talking to partners about boundaries and emotional well-being). not every sexual or romantic partner has to be forever, but partnering with people you like, trust, and know how to talk to will make it easier and less scary to figure out what to do together if/when unexpected problems do arise.

being a thoughtful and communicative partner is GREAT skill to start practicing as early as possible, trust me - I get plenty of very grown adults in my inbox who are still figuring out how to do it.

in conclusion: there's nothing inherently dangerous about sex with someone who's not a romantic partner, just make sure you're picking people wisely and looking out for everyone's safety.

[redroomreflections]

Paint It Black Chapter 2 - Fractured Authority

Teen Natasha Romanoff x Teen Reader

Masterlist | General Masterlist

Summary: Natasha Romanoff has never known love—or at least, that’s what she tells herself. During her time in the Red Room, she encountered a girl whose memory was forcibly erased from her mind. Now, as an Avenger, she faces a new enemy who turns out to be more than just a threat; they share a tangled history that challenges everything Natasha thought she knew about herself and love.

Chapter Summary, Reader disrupts Natasha’s rigid training routine, introducing her to small acts of rebellion while hinting at the dangers of being Dreykov’s favored.

W/c: 5k

A/N: It only gets rougher from here

Warnings: This is a dark story, so read at your own risk. Mentions/hints of SA, violence, guns, and abuse. We're exploring the Red Room and Natasha's origins, kind of.

Mornings were for intensive training. A rigid schedule kept the girls in line. It wasn’t like the mornings back in Ohio, where cartoons blared at full volume and Yelena sang along to every theme song, her voice bright and off-key. Here, the only sound is the low buzz of chatter, conversations Natasha couldn’t bring herself to join. No Yelena, no music, just the restless shuffle of girls preparing for the day. She hadn’t seen her sister in months.

Natasha sat on her bunk, head down, wrapping her hands with sharp, practiced movements. The gauze bit into her fingers, the tension grounding her. She wasn’t focused on anything in particular. Couldn’t keep her mind from going every which way. It was just one of those days. 

“I would like to fight y/n,”  A girl by the wall stood out, leaning with her arms crossed and a smirk that’s too sure of itself.

Natasha didn’t look up. She didn’t have to. The girl’s voice was sharp, cocky, the kind of bravado that gets broken quickly here. Natasha tugged the wrap tighter around her hands and tested her fist. No mistakes. Not today.

"Not a chance, she's Dreykov's girl. Have you seen her fight? That's too dangerous," A second voice replied, belonging to the girl Natasha knew as Lorna.

Natasha had heard the rumor about you and your fighting style. The other girls' whispers and snide comments were more unbelievable than the last.

"I heard y/n's parents are in prison; war criminals. The authorities don't know what to do with her, so they put her here," The pixie girl said. "She's the only one of us whose parents have a known place, and they still don’t want her."

"Really? I heard her dad died in a freak accident when she was a kid, and now her mom is sick or something. I don't know. Y/n barely speaks. Do you think they're trying to fix her here? Make her into the perfect weapon."

"Whatever, I just know if I'm fighting anyone, I want to fight her."

Just then, the door swung open, and a stern-faced trainer stepped inside, his presence commanding immediate silence. “All recruits to the evaluation room,” he barked, his voice echoing off the cold, sterile walls. “Now.”

The girls scrambled to their feet, and the atmosphere was suddenly tense. Natasha stood, her heart racing as she glanced at her bed. It could be the last time she saw it.

She followed the other girls along the hallway and into the observation room. As Natasha stepped into the room, the sterile smell of antiseptic and sweat hit her, a familiar scent that had become synonymous with the Red Room. Rows of hard plastic chairs lined the walls. Recruits whispered among themselves, but Natasha’s gaze was immediately drawn to you, standing amongst another group of girls.

Your posture was confident, though Natasha could see the tension in your shoulders. You stood tall, facing the front, your hair framing your face as you watched Madam B. approach the center of the room. The older woman radiated authority, her heels clicking sharply against the polished floor as she strode forward.

“Welcome, recruits,” Madam B began, her voice smooth but chilling. “Today, we’ll be evaluating your progress and pushing your limits. In the Red Room, we teach you to fight and prepare you to survive. You will learn to harness your skills, not just for the mission, but for the kill.”

A shiver ran down Natasha’s spine at the coldness of Madam B's words. She’d heard this speech before, the hollow promises of strength cloaked in a veneer of empowerment. But beneath it all lied the stark reality of what they were being trained to do.

Madam B. scanned the room, her gaze sharp and calculating. “Today, I need a demonstration of what you’ve learned. Y/N!” she called, her tone suddenly commanding.

Natasha’s heart dropped as you stepped forward. “Yes, Madam B?” You replied, your voice steady.

“You will demonstrate your fighting technique against one of our newer recruits. Let’s see if you can handle the pressure.” Madam B. gestured toward a girl Natasha recognized from the dorm, one of the less experienced recruits who hadn’t had much training yet.

A ripple of surprise flew through the group of recruits, and Natasha could see the uncertainty on your face. But you didn’t hesitate, and within seconds, you were both standing in the middle of the room, squaring off against each other. Natasha's mind raced, and she felt her palms beginning to sweat as she watched the scene unfold.

Madam B. stood to the side, observing the two of you closely. The recruit lunged, and you ducked and weaved, the two of you falling into a natural rhythm. Something was mesmerizing about how you moved, your movements precise and controlled, as if you were dancing rather than fighting.

Suddenly, the recruit landed a blow to your abdomen. You stumbled but regained your composure quickly and retaliated with a swift kick to her leg, knocking her off balance. As the fight progressed, you gained the upper hand, landing blow after blow until the recruit was backed against the wall, defenseless.

Your fist flew forward and landed squarely on the girl’s jaw, and the sound of bone crunching echoed in the small room. The girl crumpled to the ground, and Madam B. ambled forward, her expression unreadable.

There was a sudden, intense pressure in Natasha’s chest, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Something felt wrong. It all felt wrong. 

"Kill her," Madam B. demanded from you.

"What?" You asked.

"You heard me. Kill her. That's an order."

There was silence, and then the recruit let out a strangled cry. Her hand reached up, blood dripping from her mouth. "Help me, please!" she whimpered. It was a mistake allowing her to fight you. 

For the slightest second, you hesitated. Your hand tightened around the knife tucked into your belt, but the movement was barely perceptible. "No," you finally replied, your voice steady. "I won't."

The room eruptd into surprised mutters and gasps, and Natasha watched in horror as Madam B. struck you across the face for your defiance. "Disobedience will not be tolerated!" she shouted, her voice raw with anger. "You've been spoiled. You think your place here is valuable."

She’d struck you again and your lip split. Your only confirmation was the taste of copper coating your tongue. 

Natasha's eyes never left you as Madam B's next strike was more brutal. She couldn’t look away, even as the room filled with the sickening sounds of flesh meeting flesh. Almost like it was personal. 

Finally, the blows stopped, and the room fell silent again. Your harsh breathing unsettled them. You couldn’t seem to catch your breath. 

Madam B. turned toward the rest of the group. "Widows," she said, her voice dangerously low, yet commanding. She was a leader. "We must be ruthless in our pursuit of perfection. Only those who can handle the pressure are fit to serve the Red Room. Anyone who falters will be eliminated."

The meaning of Madam B's words were clear: those who can't survive will kill or be killed. 

Madam B. towered over you, her heels clicking as she circled like a vulture. Her voice was sharp and clipped, cutting through the tension in the room. “Y/N, you have failed to meet the expectations of the Red Room. Do you even comprehend what that means?”

"That's enough," A voice with chilling authority caused every head to turn.

You sat on your knees, staring at the floor, your breath ragged. Blood dripped steadily from your chin, pooling on the hardwood. The ache in your body made it hard to hold yourself upright, but you refused to fall. Not here. Not in front of her.

The weight of her words hung in the air until the door creaked open.

Silence fell.

His presence filled the room before anyone even dared to look. The sound of measured footsteps echoed, slow and deliberate, like a ticking clock counting down.

Dreykov didn’t say a word as he approached, but every girl instinctively straightened, their eyes dropping to the floor. He stopped just in front of you, his polished shoes catching the faint light.

Your gaze flickered up, only for a moment. A dark suit, pressed to perfection. Rings glinted on his fingers, gold and heavy. His face was expressionless, but his eyes... they pinned you down, dissecting you like a specimen under a microscope.

He knelt slowly, his hand brushing your cheek, his thumb smearing the blood there as if studying it.

"Stand," he said finally, the single word low and heavy.

Madam B. stiffened beside him, stepping back as if to blend into the shadows. You rose to your feet, your knees trembling, the iron in his voice giving you no choice but to obey.

Dreykov adjusted his cuffs, his movements precise and unhurried, before turning to the rest of the room. He didn’t need to raise his voice. His silence was command enough.

"She's my best girl. She deserves a second chance," He stated.

"With all due respect, General, I believe she is a liability. Her disobedience is a threat to the program."

The General didn’t flinch. "Let me worry about that," He said. His tone was firm, but there was a hint of something else—an underlying anger impossible to miss. "I've already given my orders. Y/n is a valuable asset. She's not going anywhere."

Madam B's expression remained unchanged, but there was a subtle shift in the room's energy. She gave a curt nod, her displeasure evident.

"Yes, sir," She replied, her tone clipped. She watched as Dreykov’s fingers pressed into your chin, tilting your face up to scrutinize you. His gaze flickered over your expression, but your eyes remained carefully blank, giving nothing away. Natasha watched for a brief, disorienting moment, wondering if he was almost…fussing over you. 

There was something in the silence that made Natasha feel like she could finally breathe again.

"As for the rest of you," The General continued. "This is your first and final warning. Don't disappoint me."

With those words, he turned and left, his footsteps echoing through the silent room.

Madam B. snapped back into action the moment he was gone, barking orders and arranging the next fight. Natasha couldn’t help but look at you again. She went to reach out and help, but something held her back. You were a liability.

And for some reason, Natasha didn’t want to be caught in the crossfire.

***

It was late, the moon hanging low in the night sky. The next time Natasha saw you, you had bandages on your cheek. She didn’t dare to talk to you. Instead, she kept her distance, watching from afar as you walked through the cafeteria, her curiosity piqued.

But Natasha wasn’t the only one keeping tabs on you. Everywhere you went, you were watched. Rumors flew, and the older girls made their distaste known, casting you looks full of venom. You didn’t notice. The bandages on your cheek starkly contrast your skin, a physical reminder of the earlier evaluations that had gone wrong. You sat alone at a table, your gaze fixed on your untouched plate of food.

As the seconds passed, Natasha’s worry deepend. You brought a fork to your lips, but your hand trembled slightly, and the fork slipped, clattering against the plate. You winced at the sound, your shoulders tensing as if the noise was a reminder of the eyes on you. Glancing around, you caught a few older girls snickering, their whispers loaded with disgust and malice. The venom in their gazes fet like a physical blow, and Natasha saw your posture shift, the slightest crumple of your resolve.

You took a deep breath, trying to regain composure, but Natasha saw the flicker of hurt in your eyes as you stared at your food, willing yourself to eat. Your appetite has vanished, replaced by the gnawing anxiety from being at the center of whispered rumors. You pushed your food around the plate; the motions were mechanical and lifeless. 

 She shouldn't have cared so much. She knew you could not be friends.

But still, Natasha did.

She wanted to know your story. She wanted to know you.

*******

The training room was a different beast than the evaluation. The stakes were higher than ever, and after that day you battled, the competition was fierce.

Natasha sat on the bench, wrapping her wrists again. As the fabric covered her knuckles, her attention shifted to you.It seemed like you were everywhere.

You were standing by the punching bags, practicing your technique. You were quick. Powerful. Precise. Natasha watched as you hit the bag repeatedly, your movements fluid. 

She was about to approach you when ‘pixie-cut girl’ beat her to it.

"Hey," Pixie cut girl said, her voice smug. "Nice work out there."

You paused, glancing over at her, your expression unfazed. "Thanks," you replied, a hint of skepticism lacing your voice.

"But seriously," the pixie-cut girl continued, stepping closer with a challenging glint in her eye. "How do you get away with so much? Dreykov's favorite and all that. Must be nice to have special treatment, huh?"

Natasha held her breath, unsure how you’d respond. 

You straightened your back, the confidence radiating from you. “It’s not about getting away with anything,” you said, your voice steady and assertive. “I’ve just learned to make the most of what I have. This place tries to break you, but I refuse to let it.”

The pixie-cut girl raised an eyebrow, a flicker of surprise crossing her face. “Is that so? Sounds a little naïve, don’t you think?”

Natasha bit her lip. She wanted to see how you would handle this situation. 

"Maybe," you replied, an edge to your voice. "But I'm not the one making excuses for my poor performance."

A ripple of murmurs echoed through the gym, and the pixie-cut girl's cheeks flushed pink. She stared at you, her jaw clenched, the tension between you building. Natasha felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, a chill running down her spine.

She'd seen this scenario play out before. It was a precursor to disaster, a ticking time bomb.

"You're right," the pixie-cut girl said, her tone dangerously calm. "I haven't been giving it my all. But maybe I should." She stepped forward, her fists clenched. "You wanna spar? Let's go."

Your gaze shifted from her face to her hands. "I don't need to prove myself," you stated, your voice calm and confident.

"Oh, I think you do." Her grin was cruel, her eyes flashing with a dangerous gleam. "We saw what happened with your last match. You're not a widow."

The jab hit you hard, and Natasha could see the briefest glimpse of pain on your face before you schooled your features, the mask of indifference returning. "No, but I am a recruit. And I know how to fight."

"Well, then, let's put it to the test. Unless you're scared."

The challenge hung in the air, and the other girls waited with bated breath.

"You don't want to do this," You shook your head. "Whatever hangups you have about me. Put them to rest."

"Don't tell me what I want."

You gave her a hard stare, then sighed, rolling your shoulders and flexing your hands. "Fine," you muttered.

“Tatyana,” One of the usual girls she’s with called to her. 

“No, it’s time someone puts her in her place.” Tatyana said. 

The two of you stepped forward, squaring against each other, the tension crackling between you. The older girl moved first, throwing a punch which you dodged easily. It's then you got angry. Not necessarily at Tatyana. But at the system. At the fact that you had to fight every single day of your life. 

You struck, aiming for the older girl's face, the force of the blow sending her reeling backward. Tatyana staggered, catching herself, then charged again, her shoulder colliding with yours, her momentum carrying the two of you to the ground. You were a blur of movement, both grappling for the upper hand.

Natasha watched, her pulse racing. The older girl landed a few blows, but you were relentless, throwing punches and kicks as fast as possible. You were on the offensive, fighting with a ferocity and determination Natasha had never seen before.

She was captivated.

The sound of a blow landing drew her focus, and Natasha watched as the older girl stumbled back, her lip bleeding. "You'll pay for that," Tatyana growled, her expression feral.

"I'd like to see you try." You threw another punch, and Tatyana blocked, countering with a kick to your leg.

The two of you were locked in a stalemate, neither willing to give ground. You were a whirlwind of fists and fury, the older girl's movements growing more desperate.

Suddenly, Tatyana threw a wide punch, her arm flying past your face, the momentum unbalancing her. A fatal mistake.

Your hand snaked out, grasping the older girl's wrist, and you twist, bringing her to the ground. Within seconds, you're on top of her, pinning her down.

"This isn't worth it," You muttered, your voice low and menacing. You know what you have to do now. You know what they want from you. “Whatever you have against me throw it away. If you know what’s good for you.”

"Get off me," Tatyana spit, struggling under your weight.

"I'm trying to save your life," you replied, your grip tightening.

The older girl glared up at you. She knew she was cornered. She knew what happened next.

"You have a choice," you continued, your tone cold and uncompromising. "Survive or die."

Your words hung in the air, the weight of the moment pressing down on everyone in the room. The choice was clear. You know that if Dreykov or Madam B. Caught wind of this,you would suffer. The guards on one side of the room seemed to ignore all this happening. But the other side. The girls in the other corner were watching.

Tatyana hesitated, then nodded her defeat.

"Good." You released your hold, rising to your feet. “Next time, I won’t be so merciful.” 

The older girl scrambled up, glaring daggers at you. She brushed off her uniform, her gaze never leaving yours.

Natasha stared at you, her heart pounding, the realization hitting her like a ton of bricks.

You're the one to beat.

Tatyana sulked, her glare lingering but her steps faltering as she retreated to the other side of the room. The watching girls averted their eyes, murmuring amongst themselves. Natasha didn’t move, frozen in place, her mind racing as she tried to process what she’d just seen. 

“You did not have to do that to her,” Someone challenged. Another girl from your class. 

“Это всё,” A woman’s voice said in Russian, her tone icy and final. That’s over.

The words cut through the air like a whip. The watching girls froze for a split second before breaking apart like scattered birds. No one lingered; no one dared. The crowd thinned as they slunk back to their stations, their whispered chatter fading into the background. Even Tatyana, still seething, shot you one last glare before disappearing into the throng.

The room seemed to exhale, the buzz of drills and muted conversations resuming, but Nora’s focus never wavered. Her gaze fixed on you, cold and unrelenting.

“You,” she said, her voice sharp enough to make you flinch. “Come.”

The command was curt, absolute. Without hesitation, the remaining girls stepped aside, parting like water to make way as Nora turned on her heel and strode out of the room.

You glanced at Natasha out of the corner of your eye. She stared back, her face pale, her expression unreadable. You didn’t have time to dwell on it. Nora didn’t wait for you to follow—she didn’t need to.

As you trailed after her, the murmurs behind you faded into nothing, swallowed by the sterile hallways of the Red Room.

You didn’t say anything as she led you into the empty room. The silence between you was thick. You couldn’t escape that antiseptic smell. You sat on the bed, back straight, arms folded across your chest, eyes following the motion of her lab coat as it swayed with every movement.

She moved efficiently, methodically, gathering supplies without sparing you a glance. Her hands were quick, but steady, like someone who had done this a thousand times before.

“This is my second time patching you up this week,” Nora commented casually, her voice holding a hint of frustration but not quite pity. She turned to face you, her hazel eyes meeting yours for the first time since the confrontation. Her expression was unreadable, a practiced mask of professionalism.

You stayed silent, your lips pressed together in a thin line.

Nora shook her head slightly, as if disappointed, but she didn’t push further. Instead, she set down the bandages she’d been holding and picked up a sterile wipe, her fingers moving with precision as she began cleaning the gash on your cheek. “You’re reckless,” she muttered, but there was a sense of reluctant admiration in her voice.

You couldn’t help but let out a short, bitter laugh. “Reckless?” you echoed. “Isn’t that what they want from me?”

Nora didn’t answer right away. She worked in silence, her brow furrowed as she focused on her task. Finally, she spoke, her tone softer this time. “Not like this.”

You glanced up at her, caught off guard by the slight change in her demeanor. “What does that mean?”

She paused, meeting your gaze once more, and for a brief moment, you saw something flicker in her eyes—something human, something more than just the cold, professional persona she wore so well. A look she usually reserved for you. 

“Don’t make it easy for them,” she said quietly, almost as if she was speaking to herself more than to you. "You’re worth more than that."

You didn’t respond. There was no need to. You knew exactly what she meant.

"You're not my mother." You swiped her hand away from your face, the motion sharp and angry, but it didn’t seem to faze her.

She didn’t argue, didn’t react with anger or defense. Instead, her eyes softened, a brief flicker of something almost tender in them. She dropped her hand to her side, giving you space to breathe, space to cool off.

"No," Nora’s voice was quiet, almost sad. "I'm not."

The silence hung between you, thick with the weight of unspoken words. She didn’t press, didn’t try to make you talk, and for a moment, you almost felt a flicker of gratitude.

But you quickly buried it.

"Just... just do what you need to do," you muttered, turning your head away from her, focusing on the dull flicker of light overhead. Anything to avoid looking at her.

You weren’t sure what kind of words you wanted from her—maybe none at all. Maybe you just wanted to be left alone.

****

You were cocky, but she knew it was just a mask. She’d seen those rare cracks in your composure, moments when the swagger faded and something more vulnerable flickered beneath the surface. The other girls didn’t like you, and Natasha understood why. You were fast, smooth, and relentless in training; you never faltered in evaluations. No one could beat you.

But you were distant, never lingering with the others. Natasha often saw you slipping away, and she knew where you went. Dreykov kept you close.

It was another week she'd survived in the Red Room. The atmosphere in the evaluation circle was tense and charged with anticipation as the girls surround the mat, their eyes focused on the center. Natasha stood with her heart pounding, a cocktail of fear and adrenaline surging through her veins. She swallowed hard, trying to steady her breath as she watched the trainers move among the group, assessing each girl with a critical eye.

“Next up,” a trainer barked, breaking the silence. “Romanoff versus Mikhailova.”

Mikhailova, the girl she’s up against, strode confidently to the center. Natasha knew her by reputation: fierce and unyielding, a girl who thrived on intimidation. The two of them stood face to face, both about the same size; Mikhailova was only an inch taller and a year older.

Natasha took a deep breath, trying to steel her nerves. The last thing she wanted was a confrontation, but she knew the fight was inevitable.

Mikhailova smirked, her gaze sharp and calculating. Natasha braced herself, waiting for the attack. Mikhailova stepped forward, her confidence radiating from her as she smoothed her hair, a bright red ribbon tied neatly at the back of her head. They were both just girls, barely teenagers, yet here they are, pitted against each other in a brutal test of strength and skill.

And it came. Mikhailova struck first, a blow to Natasha's abdomen. The pain was immediate, but Natasha pushed it down, and her determination to survive pushed her forward.

The fight escalated quickly, both girls throwing punches and kicks, their movements fluid and instinctive. Mikhailova was a skilled opponent, but Natasha was quick, and her reflexes were sharp and precise. The two of them were well matched, the battle raging on for what seemed like hours, but both girls were determined to win.

Mikhailova threw a punch, and Natasha ducked, countering with a swift kick to the older girl's shin. The older girl faltered, and Natasha seized the opportunity, slamming her elbow into the older girl's chest.

A flash of pain crossed Mikhailova's face, but she recovered quickly, grabbing Natasha by the throat and pinning her to the ground. Natasha's eyes widened as the older girl's fingers tightened around her neck, cutting off her air supply.

As the seconds passed, Natasha's vision blurred, the edges fading to black. Her lungs burned, her chest heaving, the struggle to breathe growing more desperate with each passing second. She fought, trying to free herself, but Mikhailova's grip was too firm. In a final attempt, Natasha made a move that made the older girl loosen her grip just enough for her to slip free.

Natasha gasped, taking a deep breath, her lungs burning. She was on the ground, her heart racing, adrenaline coursing through her veins. She had to do something that she couldn’t come back from.

Her hand closed around a knife that's been tossed aside. Without a second thought, she drove it into Mikhailova's leg.

The older girl screamed, collapsing to the ground, her blood pooling on the floor.

The room was silent, the shock of the attack reverberating.

Mikhailova glareed at Natasha, her eyes full of hatred and pain. They know what happened next. Natasha's hand didn’t even shake. She quickly removed the knife from Mikhailova's leg, and the older girl let out a muffled cry, clutching at the wound.

"Put her out of her misery," One of the trainers demanded.

Mikhailova looked up at Natasha, her expression a mixture of fear and defiance. "Do it," She growled, her voice thick with anger and pain. "End this."

Natasha paused, her mind racing. The knife felt heavy in her hand. This was where you and Natasha differed. For her, if she said no, there would be no one to save her. You had the General. She had nothing.

So she did.

She plunged the knife into Mikhailova's heart.

The older girl gasped, her eyes widening as the life drained from her body.

Natasha stared down at her body, the realization of what she'd done sinking in. The blood rushed to her ears as she forced herself to remain upright. Her first kill. She'd done it.

"Congratulations, Natalia," Madam B's voice cut through the silence.She sounded almost proud. "You've proven yourself."

The older woman's words sent a chill down Natasha's spine.

Natasha looked up, her eyes locking with Madam B's, the older woman's gaze cold and calculating. "Don't get too comfortable," Madam B. continued.

Natasha didn’t respond. She looked down at Mikhailova's lifeless body again. Dedicated her face to memory. She had freckles.

The thought was fleeting but enough to bring her back to reality. She knew she's just won an important battle. But the war was far from over.

"Clean up," Madam B commanded.

Natasha's gaze snapped up, and she nodded, the movement mechanical and robotic.

She sknew she couldn’t stop. If she stopped, the consequences would be devastating.

********

In the shower, Natasha cried quietly to herself. She couldn’t stop thinking about Mikhailova. About the look in her eyes as she died. She'd been trained for this. She was a widow in training. This is what they do.

But it didn’t feel any better.

Minutes passed, she wiped away the tears and straightened her shoulders, her resolve firming. She couldn’t afford to break. She dressed quietly, ignoring the girls stepping in and out of the shared shower room.

Her mind was numb as she walked down the hallway, her footsteps echoing through the empty corridors. Suddenly, a familiar figure appeared.

"Y/n," Natasha whispered.

"Natasha," you replied, your tone equally soft.

"How are you?"

You hesitated, a flicker of emotion crossing your face. "Fine," you stated, your expression guarded. "You?"

"Same," Natasha answered, a lump forming in her throat.

You both paused, an awkward silence filling the space between you.

"I should go," Natasha said, her voice quiet.

"Wait," you replied.

Natasha's eyes met yours, and for a moment, the tension faded.

"You did great," You continue, a hint of pride in your voice. "Dreykov is pleased."

"Thanks," Natasha replied, her cheeks flushing.

"You deserve it," You added.  Before she could walk away you turned to her. "It's always hard. Your first kill." You elaborated.

"Is it?" Natasha asked, the question slipping out before she could stop herself.

"No," you replied, your tone somber. "I've found that the second one is worse. One time is an order. The second time is a choice."

"Oh."

The weight of your words hung in the air, the truth sinking in.

"Be careful," You added. "It will only get harder from here."

"I will," Natasha answered.

You give her a curt nod and turn, disappearing down the hall.

[creeperkiwi]

book shop | Jason Todd x Reader ᯓ★ 

sumarry: Jason is a fan of a series of unknown books, there is only one bookstore in the entire city that has them so he goes every week hoping to find the next volume, the bookstore worker has a proposal in exchange for the third volume .

male reader, word counter: 2,532

masterlist

The tinkling of the bell at the door announced his arrival. Jason crossed the threshold of the bookstore with measured steps, as if he feared disturbing the stillness of the place. Despite having walked this path dozens of times, each visit was still a ritual. His cold, serene eyes shifted from the shelves to the figure behind the counter, where the worker lifted his gaze from an open book.

"Hello, Jason," he greeted with a relaxed smile, setting the book aside. His black hair was messy, as though he hadn't had time (or the will) to fix it that morning.

"Hello," Jason replied with a slight nod, emotion absent from his voice. He couldn’t remember when he had started coming to this bookstore, but the dark-haired worker always made him feel as though they'd known each other for a lifetime.

Without saying more, Jason made his way to the usual shelf. He knew exactly where the book should be, and, as always, the third volume remained a vacant spot in the collection. His jaw tightened. "Ridiculous," he thought, yet his fingers skimmed the spines of the books as if he could will the one he sought into existence.

The dark-haired worker watched him from the counter, resting his elbows on the worn wood. There was something about Jason that always caught his attention, maybe the stiff way he moved or his contained expression, as though he carried a world of unspoken words.

"So?" the worker asked, with his usual light tone of mockery. Jason turned his head.

"So, what?"

"You're not going to ask about the book?" He tilted his head, his carefree smile seeming like a challenge.

Jason sighed, crossing his arms. "I already know you don’t have it. Asking would be a waste of time."

The dark-haired worker chuckled softly, a comfortable sound, as if he had just confirmed something he had been expecting.

"That's new. You used to insist more." He straightened up and pulled something from behind the counter. Jason furrowed his brow when he saw the book in his hands. It was volume 3.

"How...?" Jason started, but the worker raised a hand to stop him.

"It’s a long story. But I’m not going to tell you here." He held out the book, but when Jason reached for it, he pulled it back. "Unless you agree to go with me for a coffee."

Jason blinked, his face remaining expressionless, but something in his eyes reflected surprise.

"What?"

"A coffee," the worker repeated, calm, as though suggesting something as mundane as exchanging a bill. "It’s the price of the book."

Jason looked at him, trying to decide if he was serious. Finally, he let out a brief sigh.

"I guess I have no other choice."

"Of course not," he replied, grinning widely while playing with the book in his hand. "I finish at 5, the café is on the corner, I’ll wait for you there."

Without another word, Jason left with an annoyed look; he couldn't believe what had just happened.

—☆—

Jason arrived at the café five minutes late. For someone like him, that was already unforgivable. He opened the door with a bit more force than necessary and scanned the place until he found the dark-haired worker sitting by a window, playing with the spoon in his cup.

"You’re late," the worker said, smiling with that carefree air that seemed to mock everything.

"Five minutes doesn’t count as late," Jason replied, sliding into the chair opposite him. He adjusted his jacket, a gesture that made him seem even more distant than he already was. "Besides, I didn’t think you'd take it so seriously."

"Of course I do." He set down the spoon and looked at him with squinted eyes, but the smile never faded. "That’s why I brought you here, right?"

Jason raised an eyebrow but didn’t reply. Instead, he turned his gaze to the steaming coffee the worker had ordered for him. He took a sip, as though needing the time to decide if it was worth continuing the conversation.

"So?" Jason finally said, placing the cup down with a slight clink. "Why so insistent on the coffee?"

The dark-haired worker rested his chin in his hand, clearly enjoying Jason’s attitude. "It’s not that complicated. I like you."

"Is that all?" Jason tilted his head, his sharp eyes relentless. "I thought there was a more interesting purpose behind it."

"Well…" The worker paused theatrically, leaning back in his chair. "Maybe you’re somewhat cute, and I knew you'd only accept if I gave you the book."

Jason stiffened for just a moment, but he didn’t let the worker see it. "Did you bring volume 3?"

"Maybe."

Jason snorted, resting an elbow on the table and looking at him with a mix of exasperation and amusement. "You’re irritating, you know that?"

"I know." The worker grinned widely, as if he took it as a compliment.

They spent a few minutes talking about trivial matters: the weather, the bookstore, the oddities of the regular customers. Jason, though cold and reserved, found himself surprisingly comfortable. After a while, his voice, always sharp, took on a slower tone.

"You know… I’ve read the first two volumes at least three times," Jason said, not looking directly at him, his gaze fixed on the edge of his cup. "It’s rare to find something so... real. I don’t know who the hell the author is, but it seems like he knows exactly how things work. It’s like he’s lived it."

The worker, who had been playing with a napkin, dropped his gaze when he heard that.

"That good, huh?" he asked, his voice softer this time.

Jason shrugged, but his expression was less indifferent than usual. "I don’t care if it’s good or not. What matters is that it doesn’t sound like all those idiots who think they understand the world. This guy... he really gets it."

A silence stretched between them until the worker finally spoke.

"Jason." His voice was laden with something Jason couldn’t identify at first. He leaned forward a bit, pulling something from his bag. It was the book. He placed it on the table, pushing it toward Jason with a casual gesture.

"Here, it’s yours."

Jason furrowed his brow. As soon as he saw the cover, he felt a mix of disbelief and relief. It was volume 3. For a few seconds, he simply held it in his hands, examining it as though it might be an illusion.

"How did you get this?" he asked, his tone more serious than usual.

The worker fiddled with the napkin in front of him, avoiding his gaze. "Let’s just say I have a certain... connection with the author."

Jason looked at him intently. There was something in the worker’s casual tone, in the way he avoided his gaze. His words started to echo in Jason’s head: "It’s like he’s lived it." He remembered the little phrases and details in the books, things that always seemed oddly intimate, as though the author was speaking directly to him.

"Connection, huh?" Jason said, his voice taking on a mocking tone. He raised an eyebrow. "What kind of connection?"

The worker shrugged, but there was a faint blush on his cheeks. "I guess you could say I know him pretty well."

Jason fell silent, observing him. His fingers drummed on the table as he processed the obvious. The worker had that same way of speaking, that same way of looking at the world with a mix of sincerity and mockery. Finally, he let out a snort, a brief laugh, but one with meaning.

"You’re the author, aren’t you?" Jason said, not breaking eye contact.

The worker looked up with a shy but amused smile. "Maybe."

Jason let out a sigh and leaned on the table, resting his chin in his hand. "So all this time, I’ve been telling you how amazing you are. Did you have fun watching me not realize?"

The worker let out a nervous laugh. "Well, it wasn’t that fun. I think this is the first time someone’s talked about my books that way."

Jason shook his head, but deep down there was a small curve on his lips, barely perceptible. "You’re an idiot."

"And you’re a passionate reader." The worker’s smile widened with more confidence.

Jason took the book but didn’t get up right away. "For what it’s worth, your books are good. Don’t change that."

The worker stayed there, looking at him, surprised by the sincerity hidden in those words.

Jason placed the book on the table, his fingers slowly tracing the spine, as though he wanted to mark every word before saying anything. The worker watched him, the tension in the air palpable, but neither of them wanted to break the silence first. Finally, it was Jason who spoke, his tone now a little softer but without losing that hint of disdain that made him unique.

"You know, I never imagined you’d be behind all this." Jason looked up, his eyes cold but with a hint of curiosity. "I thought the bookstore was just a place to... find books, not a place for someone to be both a writer and a bookseller at the same time."

The worker let out a nervous laugh, playing with the empty cup. "Well, not everyone has to be so... direct. Some people prefer anonymity, you know?"

Jason didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he observed the worker, his gaze a little warmer now. Maybe it was the proximity, or perhaps the surprise of discovering that everything he had been looking for had been right in front of him all along.

"What if one day you write something new? "Jason asked casually, almost as if he didn’t care too much, although the question had been on his mind for a while.

The dark-haired man fell silent for a moment, clearly deep in thought, before shrugging. "You never know. Though for now, the third one is the last. "He said this with a wistful smile, as if he had already accepted the inevitability of goodbye.

Jason stared at him, weighing his words. Finally, he let out a low laugh, tinged with mockery, but also a hint of interest.

"Maybe I could accept more outings with you." Jason paused, looking up and watching for the dark-haired man’s reaction. —In exchange for a fourth volume, of course.

The dark-haired man tensed, his face turning a little red, and the confident smile he had was completely gone. Something in Jason’s gaze, that almost defiant glint, made him immediately understand what the guy was truly suggesting. It wasn’t just the book that was drawing him in.

"A fourth... volume? "The dark-haired man murmured, his voice softer, hesitant. "That... isn’t in my plans."

Jason let out a small laugh, a little softer this time, and leaned forward, enjoying the other’s discomfort.

"Yeah, sure. "Jason said, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of amusement and something else, something the dark-haired man couldn’t quite pinpoint. "But, you know, we could talk about more books... if that sounds good to you."

The dark-haired man blushed even more, desperately searching for words. "It’s just that..." he took a breath, trying to maintain composure "I just... the third volume is the end, there’s... no more."

Jason leaned back in his chair, watching the dark-haired man’s reaction with a mixture of amusement and satisfaction. "Are you sure? Because you seem nervous, and not because of the book."

The dark-haired man couldn’t help but blush even more, realizing that Jason’s intentions went beyond books and reading. Jason, with his typical defiant attitude, had put him in an uncomfortable position, and now all he could do was smile shyly, unable to say anything coherent.

"It’s just... the third volume is the end, okay? " he said, his voice much softer and more nervous than before.

Jason crossed his arms, observing the dark-haired man’s reaction with a mixture of amusement and satisfaction. "Sure, sure. But maybe there’s something else you could write... in your free time." He let the phrase drop like an insinuation, enjoying watching the boy blushing in front of him.

The dark-haired man looked at Jason for a moment, his gaze thoughtful, as if he were making a decision. Then, with a soft smile, he took out his phone and slid it towards Jason.

"I think it would be a good idea for you to have my number." he said in a casual tone, as if it were something simple, but with a slight spark in his eyes that hinted at a deeper suggestion.

Jason raised an eyebrow, surprised by the offer, but in the end, he said nothing. He took the phone and, after a brief silence, added his number, handing the phone back.

"I hope you don’t bombard me with messages" he said, his mocking tone still present, but there was something softer in his voice than before.

The dark-haired man let out a soft laugh, a little amused, as he put the phone in his pocket.

"I can’t promise anything." he smiled again, crossing his arms, as if already thinking about the next conversation.

Jason made a gesture of indifference, but deep down, the idea of staying in touch with him seemed... kind of interesting. However, before he could say anything more, the dark-haired man, with his usual calmness, said in a low voice, almost like a casual observation:

"By the way, if you ever decide you’re not satisfied with just books, let me know. I’m sure you could enjoy more than one conversation."

Jason looked at him, the surprise of the suggestion briefly visible in his eyes. Immediately, he regained his posture, but the mocking tone faded a little as he tried to remain calm.

"And what do you know about my tastes outside of books?" he responded with some disdain, but there was also a touch of discomfort in his voice.

The dark-haired man leaned back with a calm smile, as if he had won the little battle. "I’ll only know if you decide to let me invite you for coffee again."

Jason snorted, turning toward the door with a half-smile. "We’ll see, then."

But before he could leave, the dark-haired man reached him at the threshold with one last word.

"Hey, Jason..." —he called, and when he turned around, the dark-haired man stared at him with a playful smile. "You don’t have to get nervous, I’m not going to do anything bad to you."

Jason looked at him, confused for a moment, until the dark-haired man, with a soft and closer tone, added:

"It’s just... you’ve already turned a little red."

Jason, surprised, put his hand to his neck, as if trying to hide, but it was obvious. The dark-haired man had already noticed, and, still smiling, turned and left, leaving Jason standing there, blushing with a mix of irritation and amusement.

Jason watched him leave, feeling an odd mixture of satisfaction and embarrassment. "You’re an idiot." he murmured to himself. But he couldn’t help the slight smile on his face.

[videokilled]

Vox watched the boy vanish into the kitchen with an almost predatory look in his eye. But eventually it moved away, and toward his device. Then he sort of just tossed his phone haphazardly onto the table between them, sighing. He crossed his arms tightly and higher on his chest when his phone eventually failed to entertain him. He only really wanted to check on the one thing out of his reach anyway.

Waiting for the food and coffee to come out, it was much more comfy to wait with his eyes closed, his chin resting forward on his chest.

They both sat in relative silence. Vox maybe admittedly started to doze off, his breath getting slightly deeper and just a fraction more audible. His back and hips ached from sleeping on literal tile all night, but it was the least of his aches so he wouldn’t give it any thought.

“Your coffee?” The waiter said as he put it down in front of Vox first definitely with a voice of put on loudness, like the other was doing him a favor by waking him up. Unfortunately Vox wasn’t the grateful type.

He did twitch a little and opened his eyes, his eyebrows even without the digital flexibility were pinching his eyes into an angry slant. A little wrinkle between them.

“Do me a favor..” the waiter had been about to say something else, then nodded when Vox interrupted him.

“Get me a new waiter. I don’t want to see you again.” Vox said very sternly, like he was alluding to consequences. And with this table there likely was.

The waiter looked like he might cry, but he nodded quickly and hastily put down the rest of the food and hurried off.

Vox finally took a few sips of his coffee and some of the palpable tension immediately started waning.

“Maybe it’ll preserve whatever’s left…” Vox offered quietly. Referring to the cold weather. He didn’t know what the other was looking for other than things.. but he felt like the other was still holding out. But he didn’t blame him. Some things Vox would take to his grave too. He also carefully started picking at the food, but with a wariness like it might bite him.

Vox adjusted the sleeves of his shirt as he followed Alastor downstairs, and in his own surprising manner, he didn’t give Alastor much of a reply. He just listened and waited for the man to walk away, and then he followed.

He sat in the chair opposite of Alastor when they arrived toward the tables. He needed coffee and food.

When the waiter took Alastor’s order and turned to him, for some reason the young man seemed to take it upon himself to try a little small talk. Vox found this amusing because neither of them in the current even remotely gave off a ‘speak to me’ vibe. The boy said,

“Oh Voxtek.. is that a reference to something?” Then finished writing something and met Vox’s eyes for an answer.

Vox’s expression remained for the whole of the interaction flat and immobile. Because if he said anything, he would make the high schooler cry. And that would delay his coffee.

“…coffee.. and sugar.”

The boy fumbled a bit with his notepad.

“And toast.. and an egg..”

As the waiter scurries away Vox took to slumping back into his chair and manspreading comfortably. Pulling his phone out to poke through random things.

[if-loves]

because you're everything (i have left)

// Phainon

sum: Is it so wrong that Phainon is everything you know?

wc: 1001

warnings: 3.0 story quest spoilers, amphoreus inaccuracies, ooc phainon, written before phainon release, implied (??) yan phainon, reader is a hot mess tbh

a/n: help i tried to make him yan but this just devolved into codependent relationship 

likes & reblogs appreciated :)

Phainon has known you his whole life. You have both seen each other in your most vulnerable of times, as children who had yet to understand the cruelties of the world, and as adults who have suffered the cruelties of the world. Through it all, you and Phainon held onto each other, mumbling promises of never leaving each other.

That was when Aedes Elysiae first fell to the savage flames, and the two of you were the only ones who managed to escape.

Years have passed since then, but the sight still lives in your mind, a vivid image that only seems to refresh and worsen the pain and guilt in your heart. Could you have done something and saved at least one more person? Was the way you were acting at the moment too selfish? Had you been a little stronger, a little smarter, would your home still be standing? 

You know enough about Phainon to know that for all his act as a playful young man, he harbours a grief and rage so deep in his soul even you don't know if you'd be able to coax it out of him. It's true he'd do many things for you, yes, but asking him to open up may be a boundary even if you can't cross.

But you'd do anything to keep Phainon happy, because you know he would do the same for you - because you're all each other has to remind you of home. Because you're all each other has left.

Upon finding asylum in Okhema, Phainon decided to leave his original name behind with the ruins of Aedes Elysiae and start somewhat anew in the Holy City. He had even told you to forget the name you've known him by all your life in favour of this new one, yet asked you sweetly to keep yours.

Sometimes you wonder if, had it not been for the destruction that rained upon your village that day, you and Phainon would be as close as you were today. Would you have shared all these intimate moments, like kissing and cuddling and all that naturally followed after, if everything was still as you had known. Would he have looked at you with the same disarming smile he always does when he comes back from another mission, or would he have slowly left you, like watching a boat be carried away by the sea's currents. 

You try not to let yourself be consumed by these thoughts. Phainon wouldn't be happy to know you doubt his love for you, and you'd hate to make him sad. He works so hard to keep you safe and happy, so the least you could do was make him happy when he was home. 

You'd do anything to make him happy. Even if it meant isolating yourself in the four walls of this home, even if it meant reducing yourself to nothing more than the one he'd come home to, even if it meant sacrificing your happiness for his, because this is what love is, isn't it? 

Phainon tells you he loves you often, while holding your face gently in his calloused hands. There's an emotion in his eyes you can't quite decipher, but it reminds you of a feeling you're very familiar with - guilt. You wonder why he feels that way, and why it only appears when he looks at you. What emotions does he harbour inside that lonely head of his?

You think it's hard to imagine Phainon wanting to hurt people. He's always been a kind person, even as a child and especially as an adult. He's always wanted the best for everyone, and he's never done anything to make you feel otherwise, so it's no surprise that when he tells you to never leave the house without him, and to never answer any knocks on the doors or windows, and to never open the curtains and windows, you listened. As a Chrysos Heir, he must be privy to some sensitive information, and as your lover, he must only wish to protect you. Phainon would never do anything to hurt you.

Despite your unwavering faith in him, you find it especially difficult to control your thoughts on particularly lonely days like these. He told you that he may be gone for awhile for some business to do with being a Chrysos Heir, and left you with a chase kiss on your lips before he was locking the door on his way out. How long would he be gone this time? 

Without him around, the disease named fear starts its infection and spreads throughout your soul. You're well aware of its tell tale signs, and you have yet to find a remedy for it that isn't Phainon's presence. It starts slowly, taking its time to seep into the crevices of your soul, before it comes crashing down on you and all of a sudden you're drowning.

Is Phainon taking care of you because you're all that's left of Aedes Elysiae? Do you deserve everything that Phainon has given you? Was your life worth the deaths of all those villagers? Phainon is a Chrysos Heir, greatness is written in his script since the moment he was born. What were you?

It's okay, though. Because when Phainon walks through the door, all your doubts disappear in an instant. He engulfs you warmly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head, and everything feels right even if only for a moment.

But sometimes even his presence isn't enough to dispel some of your doubts. Does Phainon truly love you for you, or does he love you for what you remind him of? Of a bygone past that only exists in your memories, that smells of ash and sounds of screams, that the both of you can't let go of, even as it threatens the destruction of you and him? 

But it's okay if it’s Phainon, you think. Because you love him. Because he's all you have left.

[d3v1ls4dvocat3]

Doomed

James “Bucky” Barnes x Fem! Reader Smut

Summary: When Bucky notices the new neighbor, he can’t seem to get her out of his head! Whatever will he do?

W.C: 1600

Tags: Smut!, pervert! Bucky, panty thief! bucky, guilty bucky?, mentions of lingerie, AFAB! Reader, age gap but it’s not specified, male masturbation, breast fixation, nipple fixation, p in v? kinda? it doesn’t actually happen, Bucky POV, mentions of steve, mentions of war and Buck being the Winter Solider

MDNI!! Let me know if I missed anything!!

He remembers the exact day you moved into the apartment across the hall.

It was only a few days before the new year. Everyone on the floor had seemingly left to be with family, not that he bothered to keep track of his neighbors whereabouts, but he had noticed the overall lack of people when he made the unfortunate trip out of his apartment to see his therapist every other day.

That made your appearance even more noticeable.

Bucky liked to keep track of everyone he saw day-to-day anyway, it helped calm his nerves (rather he told himself it calmed his nerves) and luckily enough for him, you didn’t want to stop and introduce yourself.

Over the next few weeks, he only saw you a handful of times. You both never said anything, barely even looked at each other. It was nice.

Of course, nothing lasts forever. His therapist was sure to tell him that, much to his distain. Strangely enough, it was on one of his trips coming back from another session with Dr. Raynor that he found you cursing to yourself standing outside your apartment.

A part of him wanted to just walk by, and avoid the headache altogether. But he could hear a quiet voice in his mind that sounded a lot like Steve telling him to man up and help a poor lady in need. He sighed mentally and cleared his throat to grab your attention.

You looked up with slight shock and embarrassment. “Oh.. uhm, I’m not in your way am I?” You asked.

He frowned. “No, sorry. You look like you’re having some trouble there?”

Your eyes seemed to light up. “Is it that obvious?”

Bucky chuckled lightly and stepped closer to you, offering a hand of assistance. You gladly handed him your key.

“This building is old. These keys get stuck all the time. You’ve gotta know how to turn it to get it to unlock,” Bucky said as he fidgeted with your lock.

You watched him with unwavering eyes. Unknowingly to you, he was watching you out of the corner of his eye. This was the first time he’d really gotten a good look at your face. You were young, way younger than anyone he’d talked to recently. Most likely a college student. You held yourself with confidence but not in a way that made you seem cocky. You just had a sense of determination he hadn’t seen in a long time.

It was refreshing. Reminded him of sunlight.

He immediately frowned at that thought and focused his attention on your lock. Within a moment a quiet ‘click’ sounded through the small hallway. Your face lit up with a smile so bright he almost had to look away.

“Oh my god, thank you! I seriously thought I was fucked there,” You exclaimed.

He nodded and stepped back. “No problem. You can come get me if it does it again. I’m pretty much always home.”

You smiled again, gentler this time. “I will. Seriously, thank you. I really appreciate it.”

He watched you escape into the comfort of your home. He smiled, unbeknownst to himself and turned to his own apartment.

Cute.

_____

The next time he saw you was only a few weeks later.

Since the door fiasco, Bucky couldn’t get you out of his head. He wasn’t sure why, but something about you was like a breath of fresh air. He felt almost addicted to it, to how he felt at that moment.

So when he opened the door to the laundry room he was understandably surprised to see you. He was also even more surprised to see you in nothing but pajama pants and a very very small tank top.

And no bra.

He was going to turn around. Laundry could wait. Just as soon as his hand hit the door knob, he heard an intake of breath.

“It’s you!”

He sighed.

Bucky turned back around and smiled. “It’s me.”

You were smiling that same damn smile. He felt weak in his knees.

“I haven’t seen you in forever!” You said happily.

He nodded. “I don’t get out much.”

You hummed in understanding. “I get that. I’m still getting used to the city myself.”

It was quiet for only a moment, before you noticed Bucky’s small basket of laundry. You quietly moved over and motioned to the washing machine.

“I’m almost done with the dryer,” You said. Bucky muttered a quiet ‘thanks’ and began throwing his clothes into the washer. Once he was finished you both sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

“I don’t think I ever got your name…?”

Bucky himself was surprised at the question that came from his mouth. You also seemed surprised for a second before grinning.

As you said your name, he watched your lips form the word. Your name fit you, he thought. He whispered it to himself, trying to commit it to memory. Although, he was sure just like everything else about you, he wouldn’t forget it.

“James,” He said in return.

“Nice to officially meet you, James,” You practically purred. He felt his knees go weak again. He feared that might be a common occurrence around you.

As the silence fell over you again, Bucky began to struggle with his most recent thoughts. He questioned why he was acting like a teenager with a crush again?

Bucky had been through more than twenty men combined. He’d done things so horrible he couldn’t even speak about it. He’d seen things that would make anyone want to commit suicide. So why, out of all things, was a girl making him feel so weak?

He quietly looked over at you again. He traced the outline of your figure. Your hair down to your eyelashes. His eyes moved to your lips, plump and wet from where you’d licked them while talking.

He continued trailing down until his eyes stopped on your breasts. He felt guilt wash over him immediately at the practically sinful sight before him. He could perfectly make out your tits. The cold air in the room had made your nipples perk up just enough to poke through the already thin tank top.

Bucky glanced away quickly as the buzzer from the dryer sounded. He turned slightly to hide his tightening pants. You bent over to grab your clothes and he practically called out to god to strike him dead right there before he made a fool of himself.

It felt like years before you were up again and leaving the room. Before you closed the door, you waved bye to him. Bucky had to force every once of what he’d learned as an assassin just to seem normal enough to wave back.

Once the door closed behind you, he groaned and put his face in his hands. He tried to calm his breathing, using some of the techniques Dr. Raynor had taught him in one of their very first sessions. It was probably close to ten minutes before he felt okay enough to remove his hands from his face.

Bucky needed to calm down. You were just a girl. There was absolutely no reason to be feeling like this.

He repeated that to himself as he took his clothes out of the washing machine. As he went to throw them into the dryer, a small bright red thing caught his eye.

He grabbed it before he could even process what it was. He held up the laced piece of clothing he wasn’t sure would cover anything and knew he was doomed.

“Fucking dirty girl…”

_________

He was a pervert.

He knew he was a pervert. He felt guilty and ashamed and terrible.

However,

The thought of you wearing nothing but those red laced panties and a matching bra had been plaguing Buck’s mind. He couldn’t stop. He’d tried. He’d done everything he could think of.

He’d taken a cold shower.

He’d gone for a run.

He even tried to watch some of the movies that Steve had written down in his journal of things he “absolutely needs to watch and listen to” or whatever the blond had said.

Nothing could get that image out of his head.

It was three in the morning when he was fed up and aching and he needed release. He hadn’t meant to grab them. He was simply caught up in the moment. His hand stroking up and down his cock. He moaned and stroked faster.

Once the soft fabric touched his tip, he had to stop himself from instantly cumming.

“Oh fuck…” He moaned. Bucky wrapped the thong tightly around his hand. In his mind, he imagined your hips rubbing up and down his hard on. Teasing him in every way you knew would rile him up.

“Something wrong, Barnes?”

He groaned. He was fucking up into his fist now. He imagined flipping you over, grabbing your hands with his metal one and using his other one to squeeze your breasts.

He imagined kissing down your stomach until he got to those red panties and slowly, sensually kissing down them until you were begging to feel him. Begging him to touch you.

“Say my fucking name, doll,” He moaned.

He imagined your hands wrapped around his back and he mercilessly pounded into you. He imagined your soft lips wrapped around his full length, with your bright eyes filled with tears as you looked up at him.

He cursed.

“Nice to officially meet you, James.”

Suddenly he was cumming into his fist. He continued to stroke his cock until he was spent. As he calmed down, he looked down to see the mess he’d made with your undergarments.

“Fuck.”

He was seriously doomed.

[maybenotjaybe]

WHOOPS

☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆

PAIRING : jayce x reader

SUMMARY : after a long day, you sneak into jayce’s lab when it’s just him there and ended up distracting the both of you

REQUESTED : X

CW & TW : making out, slight touching, suggestive, getting caught, female reader, secret relationship

A / N : had this idea at like four am while changing my medical supplies lol - requests are open !

☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆

the lab was in full chaos.

theres jayce sat at the desk who is struggling with an equation that he can’t solve for a new invention, and then viktor is standing next to the chalkboard, literally solving the same problem.

“this is actually unsolvable.” he muttered, the frustration in his body growing by the second. he was gripping the pencil so tightly that it could snap in his hands any minute now.

viktor glanced over at jayce, noticing his disappointment and he let out his own sigh. “you have to add the velocities together.” he chimed in, trying to see what the piece of paper in front of jayce said from afar.

jayce turned his head to where viktor was standing, noticing the solved equation written on the chalkboard. that caused him to let out a small huff of air, shaking his head before bringing his gaze to the sheet of paper sprawled out on the desk. “my god.” he grumbled to himself, erasing part of the equation.

he could hear a sudden chuckle from viktor, shaking his own head as he turned his own body back at the chalkboard. “you should’ve known that by now, jayce.” he mocked, starting to write down more equations on the board as the sound of the chalk scraping the board filled the room.

jayce couldn't help but laugh at viktor's teasing, knowing he was smart enough to know something that simple. “i know, now shut it.” he barked back playfully, a small smile on his face while he wrote numbers down on the paper.

another small chuckle has escaped viktor's mouth, trying to hide his smile by rubbing his hand down his face. viktor often teased jayce whenever he had forgotten such a small part in an equation, knowing it gets on his nerves sometimes.

after a while, the sound of viktor letting out a small sigh fills the room, with him placing the piece of chalk on the nearby desk as he spoke. "right, well i will be leaving now." he called out to jayce, making his way to the exit with the help of his cane.

at the sound of viktor's voice, jayce turned around in the chair to see him leaving, a small teasing smile on his face. "i still can't believe you're actually going home for the night." he stated, watching him leave.

viktor shrugged his shoulders, glancing back at jayce with a small smile. “goodnight, jayce.” he called out to him, making it towards the door.

jayce’s smile has widened slightly, leaning his back against the chair he was on as he gazed at him exit the lab. “goodnight.” he said in return, a small breath escaping his lips.

now the lab was empty around jayce, the silence filling the room as he let out another small breath of air. he turned around in his chair and started to work on that equation again on the paper in front of him.

these moments alone made jayce calm down, the soft sounds of the lab roaming around his sight. it made him think about his life and how far he came with hextech. he was proud, which is what others would say.

as the minutes went by, jayce started to think about a certain someone, and that person was you. he missed you, a lot more than he could admit out loud. since the both of you were in a secret relationship, you two had to be careful in public areas.

"jayce?" you suddenly called out to him, your body at the entrance as you observed him at the desk of the lab room.

the sound of your voice made jayce flinch out of shock a bit, shifting his body back around in the chair to face you standing at the door. his eyes widened scarcely at the sight of you, not expecting you to just show up at the lab out of nowhere.

“what are you doing here?” he asked out of shock and as well as slight irritation. he rose from the chair and started to walk towards you. “you know you're not supposed to be here unless you want to get caught-”

“i know, now shut up.” you cut him off, meeting him halfway and bringing a hand to the back of his head, tugging him down and colliding your lips into his.

the sudden kiss initiated by you caught him by surprise, a tiny gasp escaping his lips before he fully melted into your touch, moving his mouth against your own passionately and without hesitation.

the kiss was anything but neat, the smacking of lips filling the room as well as the soft sounds the both of you were making. his hands were gripping your waist, probably gonna leave a remote bruise later but that was the least of his worries.

your free hand went to wrap around his torso, pulling him closer as one hand held onto the back of his jacket, and the other onto his hair. you felt like you were in heaven from jayce’s touch, a soft sound of pleasure from you entering his mouth.

after a while, you pulled away from jayce’s lips, resting your forehead against his own as you tried to catch your breath. you kept your eyes shut for a second, feeling your heart racing in your chest the moment you opened your eyes and gazed into jayce’s.

the two stared at each other for a moment, trying to process what just happened. “sorry,” you started off, your voice breathless and hushed. “i wanted to do that for a while.” you confessed, a small awkward smile tugging onto your lips.

jayce couldn't help but laugh at your words, the sound soft and filled with delight. “it's okay y/n.” he told you quietly, his thumb stroking your waist gently.

you listened to his reply, nodding at them as you gazed into his eyes lovingly. you can notice all of the details of his face, his tan skin, the shine in his light brown eyes, and the small gap in his teeth that you adored.

after a few moments, you heard Jayce's voice break the silence.. "did anyone see you?" he asked, staring into your eyes as he kept his forehead pressed against your own.

you instantly shook your head in response to him, feeling his breath against your lips as you spoke to him. “no.” you murmured, your gaze flickering between his eyes and lips.

you could feel jayce let out a sigh of relief, closing his eyes for a moment. “thank god.” he mumbled, leaning forward once more and crashing his lips against yours.

at the sudden feeling of his lips on yours, a small groan escaped your mouth and entered his, immediately moving your lips back against his in a desperate and messy kiss. the both of you knew you two needed this, from the stress of jayce’s work and the mess piltover was at the moment.

while the two kept kissing, jayce’s hand slid down from your waist to under your thighs, lifting you up in his grasp before he started to carry you toward the lab table. once he got there, he placed you down to sit at the edge, his lips still locked on yours in a passionate kiss.

the sudden lift of your body has taken you aback, but you adapted to it while jayce sat you down on the table. your legs wrapped around his body, pulling him closer until your bodies had no space at all.

it took a few minutes for the kiss to end, but jayce kept his lips moving towards your jaw and down your neck, creating a small path of hot and wet kisses. the feeling of his lips on your neck made your head hang back, loving the sensation of his actions.

“i forgot how good you were at this.” you mumbled to him, your breathing a bit ragged as you felt the pleasure of his lips on you. your hand stayed in his hair, raking your fingers through the black strands as you let him do his work.

jayce couldnt help but let out a small chuckle against your neck, the sound rumbling through his throughout. “you did, huh?” he breathed out, his tongue darting out to coat your skin.

your lips parted as a small gasp escaped your mouth, trying so hard not to make any sounds that would be noticeable from outside of the lab. “uh huh.” you let out, your hand on the back of jayce's head tugged it back so you can lean in and press your lips back to his.

he immediately obliged your actions, a small groan fleeing from his mouth while his lips moved against yours frantically and full of heat. one hand that was on your thigh started to trail up your his, gently stroking your breast before cupping your cheek, a shaky breath escaping his mouth and entering yours.

you could feel his hands travel up your body, a shiver going through your spine at his touch. as the kiss continued, your mind went to other places, like how you just wanted to take off his clothes and-

“jayce, is my notebook still in-” the sound of viktor's voice cut through the moment, causing the both of you to pull away quickly and glance over to see him staring at the two of you in shock.

your eyes widened at the sudden presence of viktor, your hands still holding onto jayce’s body and your legs wrapped around him. you could tell that the both of you were in a slight panic at the fact that you two were caught by him, froze in the same position as before

viktor stood there for a moment, trying to process what he just witnessed in front of him. “i-i’m gonna come back later.” he said in a hurry, quickly turning around to exit the lab, closing the door behind himself with a loud slam.

now it was just you and jayce left alone again, your gaze still pointed at the closed door as you realized what just occurred. “do you think he's gonna tell anyone?” you asked jayce, your voice breathless and slightly nerve.

at the sound of your voice, jayce turned his head back to face you, noticing the slight distress on your face from getting caught. he shook his head at your question, a small shaky breath leaving his lips. “no, he’s not the type to do that.” he answered, his hands sliding back down to your waist

you nodded at his words weakly, a small smile tugging at your lips. “oh my god.” you mumbled, leaning your head against his shoulder.

jayce couldnt help but laugh at your words, leaning into your touch while his hands started to caress your waist gently. “did you forget to lock the door?” he asked suddenly, a wide smile on his face as he stared down at you.

“i wasn't thinking about that!” you defended yourself, leaning back to stared up at him in return, a small laugh leaving your mouth.

another laugh escaped jayce, shaking his head while he stared down at you with adoration in his eyes. “of course you weren't.” he mumbled to you jokingly, placing a chaste kiss to your forehead before resting his cheek on the top of your head.

a small giggle left your lips, leaning into his touch while you closed your eyes, enjoying the peaceful moment with just the two of you. you both knew that you would have to talk to viktor later, but you didn't wanna worry about that right now, not at all.

☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆

[hai7ani]

mmmm no super great ideas for you but im craving for virgin!rindou and single mom reader… aaaaaauhagghg.

collection

慢一點，久一點，真一點。

Rindou initiates the talk first.

It happens on a game of WNRS in your living room, takeout boxes long forgotten on the coffee table. The TV is playing a movie you're sure neither of you are really watching, yet you still want to pretend that you are.

You've been giggling at him for the past hour. He's a pretty funny guy, you think. Doesn't have as big of an ego you thought guys like him would have.

He's a nerd who's always so observant and nice. He's nice to you, your son, the ladies living in your apartment complex who always needs help switching light bulbs because they're too old for that now. One time behind doors Yuzuha's said that she'd smash if he weren't such a loser all the time.

(You think he is, too.

But it's what that makes him so... fuckable.

You think it's bad that you keep having these thoughts, knowing that you're most probably leading him on.

You're not ready yet.

But your heart still thumps weirdly when he comes to visit with warm food and occasionally new toys that you can tell he's had a hard time picking for your boy 一 because he's somehow always one colour off, or one category away.

When he bought Hot Wheels, the kid's already moved on to playing Legos. And when he gifted an expensive Star Wars set that he saved up for, the little shit just has to be in his Mommy phase.)

He gets embarrassed easily and you can just tell he's a virgin with the way he treats porn magazines that Yuzuha has somehow gotten her hands on, stuffed behind cabinets so that Shou doesn't find them. Neither of you let her know that she's been exposed, but it's more fun this way.

He's just a guy. Genuine, very smart despite what he says. Not book smart, but he reads up on things a lot. A bit clumsy at times, but he's still responsive than most men.

He's easy to talk to. Easy to know.

Easy to一

"What's a compliment you wished you received more frequently? Oh, dang. I gotta think about this." He flips the card around, throwing his head back onto the couch.

And yet again一

"Do you wanna go first?"

What are guys like him?

"I wish more people told me I was pretty."

Your response came to you naturally. It poured like waterfall, thorny chain tightening around your heart, squeezing your flesh tight, and you busy yourself with a loose thread on your blanket.

Rindou only stares at you from the other end of the couch. Almost like a deadpan, but not really. His violets pierce through your soul, dissecting you up one by one. You don't make eye contact even when you can hear the silent screams for you to look at him.

"You're kidding."

"What? It's true."

"No. I mean, no one tells you that all the time?"

You crack a smile, glancing up to take just one quick look. He's still as handsome as ever, boyish features much more prominent under the yellow light illuminating the room.

Soft nose, pretty doe eyes. Cracked lips pink from the Malatang you love eating. Veiny hands 一 one thick, desirable finger twirling around the drawstring of his pants 一 that draws you in so close you can't help but go wild at the sight.

"What, you think I'm pretty?"

He doesn't cough like you'd expected him to. Doesn't get embarrassed or act any more like a classic, textbook virgin at your poke.

"Yeah. You're pretty." His voice gets softer with every syllable. Dodgy eyes looking away with each word.

You don't respond at that, but you can't lie that his compliment did make you feel something swirling on the inside. Something blooming in your tummy from the way his eyes look into your own.

It's true 一 you haven't been told for your looks as much as you've always wanted. You're hot, you're sexy, sure 一 but you haven't been pretty to them. You've always hoped that they could see past your body 一 to see you for who you are on the inside.

"You're一" He shifts in his seat, suddenly feeling a little too hot, heart beating a little too fast in his chest. "You're pretty, okay. You always spend too much time in the mirror but I think you're fine just like this."

You purse your lips, listening.

"You're... Shit, I'm一"

You understand him when he throws his pillow to the side to run fingers through his hair. He's not always good with words, hasn't always been. But he still tries, and you like that about him.

He always puts in effort.

"You're pretty, like music. There's no boundaries, no... box. You can be anything. It's cool."

You grin at that. "Really?"

A nod. "I can tell you that everyday from now on."

An awkward silence too heavy for any of you to handle covers the room like blanket too fast. The soft, anticipating smirk on his face drops when you shift in your seat, clicking your tongue. Fingers scratching at your brows, teeth biting into the corners of your lips.

"Rindou, I'm sorry if I have been leading you on, I一" You sigh. "I don't think I'm ready for一."

"No, wait一" He tries inching a hand towards you but you dodge. "I thought we一 Aren't we onto something here?"

Rindou feels pathetic. He feels as if he's reaching for something that seems close but is still so, so far away.

"No, I'm sorry. I'll pay you back for tonight's dinner. And I don't think you should come over so often anymore. I'll talk to Shou-chan, have him understand."

He lets out a breath too short, standing on his feet as if it'll help him figure you out better. "Why? Is it me?"

"I just don't think it's fair to you, okay? We should stop. I'm sorry."

"What isn't fair to me?"

You give him a look so sad that his heart hurts.

"You're gonna be dealing with a kid that's not yours. He's hyperactive and naughty before bed. He's picky with food and doesn't like taking showers. Worst of all you're gonna be dealing with me. I'm not easy. I'm difficult to manage, to handle, to一 You'll not like me anymore when you see it for yourself. Guys like you deserve better things."

Fuck.

Rindou scrunches his brows, face twisting into one of confusion, one that makes you seem crazy for saying what you said.

"Why do you say these things about yourself? Why do you say these things about him? He's just a kid, I'm not good with kids but I'm sure I can handle him out of all." He throws his hands up in the air a little. "And, seriously, guys like me? What am I like? Why do you assume that way about me? I'm not that kind of person. I don't like doing that."

You fight the tears threatening to fall. It hurts, to say the least.

"Like, why do you think I've been around for so long? I would've turned on my back long ago if you and Shou were so hard to love."

requests are open